#fall in love thinking the other one could never feel the same

[kaliforniahigh]

maybe you want her, maybe you need her - n.s.

4 times Noah slept with you and 1 time he realized he was falling in love.

Warnings: the expression "slept with" is used loosely in this fic, talks of past experiences, Noah is a little nervous at first, smut (unprotected p in v, oral male receiving, fingering, mutual masturbation) a little bit of dirty talk and realization of feelings.

WC: 3.3k

Requests are closed for now / Click here to be added to the permanent tag list <3

1:

The first Noah slept with you was experimental.

You had just agreed on a friends with benefits relationship a few days ago. He was having a conversation with you on his couch, the guys out there on the back patio grilling some burgers and drinking some beer.

Somehow, the conversation took a turn into the topic of relationships, and Noah expressed to you how he only seemed to find girls looking for a serious relationship. He was young and with a whole career ahead of him, not wanting to settle down with only one person yet.

And you expressed how you only seemed to find uninteresting and rude guys. How you never felt comfortable bringing these people into your home, or even going to their house. And that you weren't looking for a comitted relationship either, and these men only seemed to want a woman to be their housewife.

Then, Noah went into a interesting topic. Casual sex.

He mentioned that he never trusted people enough to have just nice, casual sex with them. He always had this doubt lurking in his head that in the next morning, a picture of him in a compromising position was going to surface on the internet.

You giggled a little at this idea, but completely understood his worries.

You, on the other hand, mentioned how difficult it was to find a guy who was even half decent in bed. Most of them only caring about their pleasure, and just left you unsatisfied while they put on their clothes and left, promising to call to arrange another date.

You blocked their numbers as soon as they left.

As the conversation progressed, you could sense that the same idea was lurking in your and his mind. The more you spoke, the more it sounded like you were the perfect person for each other.

It didn't hurt that Noah was probably the most attractive man you knew. And he's caught himself having dirty thoughts about you more than once.

So, you left his house that day with an arrangement. When you needed someone to satisfy your needs, you would give each other a call.

Turns out, it wasn't exactly a call, but a spur of the moment thing.

Jolly had called you over to help him out with something on his guitar. You knew they were starting to brainstorm ideas for a new album, and being a guitar enthusiast yourself, you participated from time to time.

You ended up staying for the whole afternoon, laughing and playing some tunes, trying to create something that would even resemble a song.

By the time the clock approached 6 PM, everyone was starting to leave. You put your things together, but hanged by the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. You could hear Noah in the living room bidding everyone goodbye.

Noah entered the kitchen and saw you leaning against the counter, bringing the glass of water to your lips.

"Hmm", se hesitated a little bit, not really sure how to do this. He didn't want to be too straightforward and say things like "Hey, wanna fuck?", but he also couldn't lie and say he hasn't been thinking about you ever since that day. "I was thinking if maybe you'd wanna go up to my room?", he asked instead.

You thought it was adorable how nervous he was about this. A little smiled graced your lips.

"Yeah, sure", you agreed, setting the empty cup down. "Lead the way"

You followed after him as he opened the door to his room. You noticed the place was clean and tidy, and you remembered him saying he was a bit of a clean freak. You stood there, in the middle of his room and watched as he closed the door behind him and turned to face you.

The atmosphere turned a little awkward, and you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. In the years you've known him, things have never felt like this. But the knowledge that you were here so you both could have sex undoubtedly shifted things.

"You can kiss me, you know?", you broke the silence, tilting your head to the side, appraising his reaction. He took a couple of steps closer.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm nervous", he laughed a little and you smiled with him.

'It's ok", you reassured.

He looked at you with the eyes that always held your complete attention anytime they were on you, and you felt his hand take yours, prompting you to get closer to him, until you were standing toe to toe. Slowly, his other hand went up your arm, slightly brushing over your shoulder and finally rested on the back of your neck.

He was soft as he brought his lips forward to rest on top of yours, the kiss tentative at first, but as soon as you gripped the sides of his shirt, it became more urgent.

You took a few steps back and he went with you, lips never separating, until you fell backwards on the bed, and he climbed on top of you.

That night, you found out that Noah was the most attentive partner you've ever been with. He took his time getting to know your body and the things you liked, and he never seemed to be in a hurry to finish soon.

You found yourself blushing everytime you let out a particularly loud moan and he asked "Feels good, angel?", and you couldn't find the words to answer that yes, it does feel really good.

Noah, on the other hand, was trying to cope with the feeling of your fingers tangled in his hair, and the weight of your body on top of his as you rode him until the two of you reached your highs. He observed as you threw your head back, and he wanted to litter your neck and chest with hickeys, but thought that he might take it too far if he did as he wanted.

He got himself dressed along with you and followed you down the stairs, watching you gather your things to leave. He opened the door for you and bid you goodbye and observed as you got in your car to leave.

He stood there for a few seconds after you had already left, thinking about how much he wanted to call you tomorrow and do this all over again.

2:

The second time Noah slept with you was the first time you had his dick down your throat.

It was in a random bathroom, in a party he didn't care about, in a house he didn't even know who it belonged to. But his friends invited him, and he decided to go.

Right now, as he felt your soft and velvety mouth wrapped around his shaft, he was sure it was the best decision he's ever made in his entire life.

"Fuck, that feels so fucking good", he groaned, throwing his head back and hitting it against the wall with a light thud. One of his hands was resting on the back of your head, but not really pushing, leaving it up to you how much of him you wanted to take.

Taking him out of your mouth, he watched as a string of saliva connected his tip to your plush lips, and he almost let himself go right then and there.

He arched his hips forward at the feeling of your delicate hand stroking him up and down.

"Wanna cum in my mouth?", you asked, with an absolute sinful look on your face, as you looked up at him from your position kneeling on the floor. He wanted to take a mental picture of how you looked in this moment.

"Yeah, baby. You gonna swallow everything?", he took advantage of your half open mouth and slipped a digit inside, your warm mouth wrapping around it and sucking his thumb as you hummed in response to his question.

Your hand worked along with your mouth to bring him to the edge, and he could feel himself falling faster and faster as the seconds ticked by.

It was when you took him slightly deeper and he felt his tip hitting the back of your throat that he knew he would cum very soon.

"Keep going, I'm gonna cum", his voice was tight and you looked up to see the veins on his neck straining, a pretty blush covering his chest and neck. Your hands ran up his abdomen, nails scrathing his skin and you felt his muscles go taut underneath your palms. Seconds later he spilled himself down your throat in warm and quick spurts.

"Fucking look at you", he grabbed you by the chin. "Such a good girl, taking all of my cum", he spread a little drop you let escape all over your lips.

You smiled at him. He was absolutely fucked.

3:

The next time Noah slept with you, things got a little dirty.

He had you on his lap, on his couch, two knuckles deep inside your pussy, as you shook on top of him.

"I fucking love your fingers inside of me", you told him, eyes closed and hips shifting a little to get him to go faster.

"That right, baby?", he answered, lips finding your neck and sucking little kisses, feeling the faint taste of your sweat that lingered on your heated skin. "Just getting this pretty cunt ready for my cock", he said, picking up the pace of his fingers, the squelching sound of your wetness making his dick strain against the confines of his sweatpants.

You noticed the lustful look on his face, and your hands moved on their on accord, as you slipped your fingers under the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down enough to take his dick out, and start stroking him up and down. He would tell you to be patient and wait, but he couldn't deny a handjob from you even if he wanted to.

"Fuuuck", he let out a low growl at the feeling. "That's not fucking fair, baby"

"Why not?", you had a fake innocent look on your face, but you knew exactly what you were doing.

"Wanted you to make a mess on my fingers before slipping inside you", he tried to be as clear as possible, but your hands were making it difficult for him to concentrate.

"Yeah?", you leaned closer to him, lips ghosting over his ear. "How about I cum on your fingers and then all over your cock?", you said, and looked to the side to get his reaction.

"Fuck, you're such a dirty girl", he smiled and captured your lips on his.

After a few more pumps of his long fingers, you could feel the knot in your stomach wanting to unravel. Noah could tell, since your walls started to clench around him. The feeling of your warmth and wetness engulfing his fingers were enough to make him spill his release all over his stomach, covering your hand in his cum.

You weren't far behind him, the warm and fuzzy feeling spreading all over your insides, as you shook above him, ultimately gushing all over his fingers and legs. His fingers kept their rhythm until you were too sensitive to take it anymore.

Your head rested over his chest, not caring about the sticky mess between you.

"Fuck, I didn't know you could do that", he observed, admiration all over his voice.

"I didn't know I could do that either", you answered, honestly.

You couldn't see it, but he had a stupid grin on his face. He was the first guy to make you squirt.

4:

The next time Noah slept with you, it was on your bed.

"How do you want it, baby?", he asked you, not giving you much time to recover after he just made you cum on his mouth.

You didn't utter a word, instead, you got on your hands and knees in front of him, lifting your ass up in the air.

Usually, Noah liked to look at your face when he fucked you, but the thought of having you from behind made his head dizzy. Taking your plush ass in his hands, he kneaded the flesh before delivering a harsh slap to your ass cheek, making you jump slightly and whimper in the mattress below you.

"Gonna slip it in, ok?", he muttered above you, leaning down a little so you could hear his words clearly. He always got your reassurance before he started to fuck you, and that turned you on even more.

The feeling of his dick slipping inside of you little by little always made your eyes roll to the back of your head, and mouth hang open in pleasure. There was nothing like that first push.

Once he was shethed inside of you, you wiggled your ass a little just to tease him a little bit. And it worked, as it always does.

"Don't fucking do that", he hissed through his teeth, gripping your flesh harder. You tried to hide your smile from him, but failed.

Every time Noah slipped inside of you, he had to steel himself as to not cum within the first two pumps. He didn't know how it happened, but you had him in a chokehold, and no sex has ever felt like this.

He closed his eyes and looked up, trying to concentrate as he started to move back and forth. Soon, your moans filled the room, and your hands gripped the sheets crumpled beneath you.

Noah grabbed one of your hands and brought them to rest on your back, slipping his fingers in yours and intertwining them. But, soon, the contact wasn't enough for him anymore. His skin felt cold and he needed to feel the blazing heat of you on him.

"C'mere", he muttered, leaning down and hooking his arm on your neck and pulled you up on a kneeling position on the bed, back resting against his chest.

His hand roamed up and took a handful of your breast. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, and the feeling of him slipping in and out multiplied by tenfold.

The feeling of your quickened pulse under his palm, as Noah placed his hand over your neck, made all the filter between his brain and mouth disappear.

"No one feels as good as you do, baby", he whispered in your ear. "Love having you all pliant and fucked out like this"

You whimpered his name, because you too, loved having him pounding you into oblivion.

Your hands reached back to grasp his hair, tugging like your life depended on it. "Make me cum", you told him, looking back to lock your eyes with his.

"You wanna cum?", he asked, a hint of teasing in his voice. "Then tell me who this pussy belongs to, baby", he inquired and gripped your neck harder.

"It belongs to you", you whispered, with no hesitation.

"Say my name", he inquired again.

Your head was spinning, and you were going to cum from his words alone.

"It belongs to you, Noah", you said, and his hands detached from your neck, and started to rub circles on your clit.

Your breath hitched and your eyes closed shut as you came with a cry of his name, shaking and relying on him keep you up, because your body felt like mush all of a sudden.

+1:

Noah replayed the last time in his head over and over again. He felt like he said too much, but then he remembered you never commented on it, and he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.

Since then, he's been hesitant to call you, to invite you over or ask if the could come over to your place. And he could tell you noticed it.

His texts have been shorter and fewer than usual, and you had to double text him sometimes to get a response from him. He felt bad, but he didn't know how to approach the feelings blooming in his chest. And he also didn't want to lose what you had.

The thing is, he started to feel like what you had wasn't enough anymore.

By the end of the first week of him being weird with you, you decided to show up at his house to talk to him. You knew Noah, and you knew that if you never approached the subject, he was never gonna talk about it.

Besides, you felt silly for saying what you said the last time you were together. It was clearly only some dirty talk to get you going, but the words falling from his lips felt so true at the time, that you couldn't help but agree with them.

And at the end of the day, they were true. Because you haven't thought about fucking someone else ever since you started this agreement. You didn't even want to.

You pondered over what you were going to say to him as you knocked on his door. You knew he was home, because his car was in the driveway.

He opened the door and greeted you with a hesitant 'hello".

"I think we need to talk", you told him, cutting right to the chase.

Noah felt like a million needles were piercing his heart. He had fucked up. He had fucked up and now you were standing on his doorstep, ready to end it all.

He nooded and stepped aside to let you in. You didn't sit on the couch, you were too anxious to even try and stay still.

You waited until he was right in front of you to start talking.

"Do you wanna end this?", you blurted out, watching as his eyes widened a bit at your inquiry. "Because if you want to, it's totally ok. I just don't want us to get weird with each other, you know? We can still be friends even if you don't want to...", he had to stop your word vomit.

"I don't wanna end this", he stated, quieting the flurry of words coming from your mouth.

"Then why have you been so distant?", you wondered. And watched him go silent for a moment. "Is it something I did? Is it what I said last time?"

"Fuck, no", he turned to look at you. "You did nothing wrong. It was me who shouldn't have said anything to begin with"

"So, you didn't mean it?", you asked, voice quiet this time, as if afraid of his answer. "You didn't mean it when you asked me if I belonged to you?"

"I didn't mean to put you in a uncomfortable situation"

"I meant it", you voiced. "I meant it when I said I belonged to you"

You watched as his expression changed to one of slight shock, and silence fell over the two of you like a weighted blanked.

"Noah, say something, please?", you inquired.

A little laugh fell from his lips, head shaking in incredulity.

"I thought I had fucked up, you know?", he looked at you. "I thought you'd definetely get scared and run away. And here you are, telling me you meant when you said you belonged to me"

"I haven't thought about anyone else ever since we started this", you confessed, and he took a few steps closer to you, taking your face in his hands.

"You've been plaguing my thoughts ever since that first time in my bedroom, baby", he stroked you cheeks lightly with his thumb. "I don't think I want to be with anyone else, and that scared the shit out of me"

"That's good. Because I don't want to be with anyone else either", you mumbled into his lips, smiling and feeling him smiled aling with you.

Maybe you failed at this friends with benefits thing, and maybe you'd have to figure out where to go from here. But the thought of having each other as you navigated this road of newfound feelings, made you feel like you could have everything with him if you wanted.

And Noah was sure he would give you everything if you asked him to.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @montgomery-929496 @stardustsirenmelody @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @w0manof-flesh44 @geminigirlfromfinland @zozaline @deardelirium @turn-your-life-into-folklore @dominuslunae @shelbyrlxoxo @super-btstrash-posts @shayzillaaaa @wordskeeper @enemiestolovershoe @haehihello @anameunmusical @blade-dressed-in-red @jilliemiw86 @vinyardmauro @ohheykayyyxo @chey-h

Tumblr is not letting me tag some blogs, I don't know why. Sorry :(

[cherie-doll]

i hope the day is good for you 🫶🏻 (english is not my first language) can you please write a story with cod men, about what would they do when the reader doesnt make it home from the mission - like they are waiting at home for her but she's dead.

thx for submitting love <33

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: They Waited For You

౨ৎ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

He didn't believe it at first, there was just no way... he immediately got to verifying all his sources, even went down to talk to the other soldiers who had been a part of your team

You were supposed to come home, he expected you to come back to him, safe and sound like always but instead of falling asleep and exhausted in his arms like you should've been by tonight, your corpse was out there somewhere missing his embrace

He thought of how he could've prevented this from happening, yes he still blamed himself for anything bad that happened to you despite it not being in his hands, maybe if he could've kept you from going, why did you even feel the need to continue doing this?

There was no one else he cared for as much as he did for you, which truly said a lot of your relationship, but since he met you he felt an overwhelming urge to show love like he'd never done before, nothing else on earth deserved this dedication like you did

He deteriorated rather quickly, the mornings became grim and he couldn't bear to see the sun setting without thinking of how much you loved letting the rays caress your arms and let your eyes take in that golden light, you looked so beautiful in those moments

Ghost

Since he met you, there was finally a stage in his life he could think of purely, sure the relationship wasn't perfect, but this was something he could be reminded of and he didn't have to fight to keep it hidden in the back of his mind, he let the memories emerge to the surface and ponder about them

It had been something pleasant but it had been ripped out of his hands far sooner than he would've wanted, his fantasy that had become a corrupted reality, it makes him want to die, badly, but he always found a way to survive the deadliest situations, somehow he always did; as if he was cursed with immortality

But this? He felt no desperation urging him to dig out of the hole he was sinking into, the walls closing in on him from all sides and he made no effort to push it away, it felt sort of relieving being cramped and paralyzed since he couldn't see the path ahead of him, with you it had become so obvious and clear what he wanted but now there was nothing worth moving towards

Did life always want something from him? Just when he thought he lost everything he could lose, there was always something else being pried out of him, it was painful because it was forcefully taken away just when he was getting attached, when there was no foreseeable evil trying to destroy him there was some good, and you had been the best unexpected thing in his life

Soap

You were like an illusion he had always dreamed of and finally were achieved, a life so dreamy and ideal he thought would never be in his reach, but he had been permitted to have it for a short while with you

Within your time together a love so beautiful had bloomed, it was sweet how sublime it had felt, you had been youthful, still beaming with so much life within you but tragically cut short, those years had gone and went unused

He couldn't find the sense within him to comprehend why it had to be you, your death had been like a cold slap to the face, he had once again become aware of the disheartening reality he lived in, that nothing was secure nor did everything stay the same forever

Well, he knew about the forever part, but did it have to come so soon? He had to gather the strength within him to continue forward and he wasn't even sure of that, there was still so much left unsaid, so much still to be done, and how frustrated he was that it would all be forgotten and left unfulfilled

A sadness like no other would coat his existence, swallow him up and change him beyond recognition, his mind would be invaded by memories of you that will replay until they burned and ceased to exist... the day he ceased to exist

Gaz

All those days that he had spent with you had been the most fulfilling days he had ever experienced, he could remember the warmth of your hand, the weight of your body asleep next to him on the mattress, the security knowing you valued his affection and returned it

He truly felt the happiest with you and he wished to be encased in that happiness forever, but how naive it was of him to think it was possible for even a second, life was always moving and throwing hurdles at us that seem impossible to avoid, it's only a matter of time misfortunes come to us all

By simply contemplating and reminiscing, he felt grief beyond help and any consolation couldn't do much for him, wistful memories came to him and he could not sleep at night, all they did was leave a dark imprint on his mind

His caring nature did not change, he thought with time he could heal and learn to move on, but some things never change, and a sore spot still brings pain when pressed too hard, he would mull over this no matter how painful it was to do so

How he misses to hold you in this moment and kiss you

Roach

The news of your death came like a hard blow to his face, and he was left clutching his chest, eyes watering with tears as he desperately tried to cling onto some comforting memory in his mind

Restlessness follows immediately, even at night sleep does not come to him no matter what he does, the memories you shared seemed to tear him apart rather than anything help him, but he didn't want to forget you either

He knew he couldn't get you back and he had lost you forever in this life, panting and gasping he would awaken from his nightmares, the little sleep he got would do nothing to comfort him, and you weren't there to comfort him, to silently hold nor ease with your voice in his ear

His mind wanted to deceive his heart, make him believe you were somewhere far away but still thinking of him, that he could close his eyes and imaging resting his head on your shoulders, basking in serenity as he lost himself in the waves that lulled him

Alejandro

He was overtaken by bitterness and anger, his better judgement was clouded far beyond reason at the most valuable treasure in his life forever gone, the feeling of longing would become a hole he'd spend his days trying to fill with wrongful acts

All he wanted and needed was your touch to remind him reality was there and not as cruel as he thought, you had still met and loved in your time and nothing could take away what had already been done, he could live blissfully in life knowing you had known each other

But could he be satisfied with that? He could strongly feel the ties that bound you together still tug at his heart, and every year he remembered you, would set an altar for you and fill it with what were your favorite foods and things

He would stare at your imagine, remembering how he once had kissed those lips, stared into your sparkling eyes that watched him endearingly, your face he had held within his hands...

He could never have that back

Rudy

He missed delicately tracing your face, his fingertip raising softly over every curve and line, your silhouette against the wall when you rose that morning, early so you could still say your goodbyes to him and tell him to expect you back very soon, this one wouldn't be too long you said

You had left him a content man, he'd sit around the house and wait, he would take it easy these days because you'd be back soon, but he wasn't ready to withstand the tumult he'd find himself in

His heart had become haggard in the days following your death, he had absorbed every bit of warmth and clung to the last signs that you had left behind, he wished he had been there, to ease your last painful moments before death, how much did that train of thought torment him, day and night it ran through his mind

In sleep, he dreamt of terrible ways you had encountered death, surely, you didn't have a peaceful one, you were healthy and fit to make it, something terrible must have happened but no matter how much he wished to know the cause of your death it wasn't given, most likely for the best to remain unknown

Phillip Graves

He often boasted of having you in his life, it was such a fortunate occurrence when you met that he didn't think it was entirely a coincidence, he loved doting on you and hold you in his arms knowing you were there for him

You had already confirmed the date of your return, but that day came and passed and there was no sign of you, worse yet no message or word had been heard on your part, it was he who had to dig and find out that you had been KIA

It felt like a strong blow to his chest to have you ripped away from him, he knew the harsh reality and danger he was constantly under, he just never imagined it would get to you one day

You shouldn't have paid for his sins or errors, he wished you had stayed out of the battle, but you had your own life to carve out and ultimately it had been your decision

Much time would have to pass before he'd be able to say your name, for the longest time he'd whisper it, as if afraid it'd shatter his reality even more, staying in the air reminding him of what he lost

Makarov

You were forever gone from his grasp, how was he to cope with that? The fire that had warmed his insides, making every act of his be out of love for you suddenly halted, reduced to nothing but ashes and now he was left to sweep the heaps of it

The emptiness growing and knowing there wasn't a piece to fit or make him whole again like you, you were a unique piece, the edges weren't cut with delicacy that an experienced hand could replicate, there wasn't a mold to follow to shape something else into you

You sprung out of chaos and spontaneity with ease, there was a lightheartedness you brought out in him that brought out the best in him, all of it offered to you who didn't greedily take but lovingly returned

He didn't want to believe someone like you could just be taken away from him and have nothing done about it, just when he thought he could be tender he'd return to his old ways, the resentment stronger than ever and tied to his heart, obscuring and consuming him

Keegan

How despairing did this turn out for him, never had he imagined he'd lose you, all that time he had spent training with you, preparing for when the worst could happen and each time you had managed to slip away, always

Except this time you weren't fast enough, he knew those shoulders held up a levelheaded person, who confidently calculated their every move, it was unfair you had been taken

His brows are now furrowed, thinking this just has to be some sort of protocol you're following, faking a death isn't all that uncommon, maybe you were still alive out there, hiding away somewhere for your safety, each day he held the pitiful hope that you'd come back to him, then he'd nurse your injuries and help you stand back up

But moons waxed and waned and you didn't appear, and he couldn't hold the fragments of you close to his heart if you wouldn't be around to reignite them and make them come true again

His palm that had curled, clutching the remnants loosed and he had to give up that foolish dream and accept reality as it was being presented

König

Was it cruel if he wished it was you who had received the news instead of him? He thought it would have been that way, he often joked about the benefits you'd get when he passed, it wasn't supposed to be you to leave earlier than him

Relaxed he was sitting in the armchair until he received the terrible news, his breaths became desperate as he tried to get air into his lungs, he wanted to march down there to the field himself to collect you, to not believe it just yet

Maybe you'd be down there, hiding away in some corner like the sly fox you were and say you had managed to dodge the bullet this time

But he was disappointed with the outcome of things, he hated it when things didn't follow the path he set for them but no one could have controlled the outcome of this course, it had left a profound wound in his heart he wasn't sure he'd be able to heal from

You had parted without saying your goodbyes and now he wouldn't be able to live with that, to live longer still with you in the back of his mind

Horangi

He hated anything that brought the slightest trace of despair, and he dealt horribly with it, he ran on pure serendipity but now he couldn't count on that, was it by being at the wrong place and time you had been one of the lives lost, the most important one to him

He felt the urge to go back to his old ways of numbing out the pain, but he pushed that temptation away, it would only drain his money and everything he had worked for go to waste, he knew you wouldn't have wanted that for him and right now he just wished to keep the traces of you very much alive and present

He wanted to go about his days as if you were still there, the flower you planted, he tried to keep it alive and water it, the way you left your stuff around the house, that way it was easier to transport himself to a time when you were there with him, still at home

The people of the past are hard to forget but he didn't mind, he faced the situation with more determination than he himself expected, he was surprised at the resolve he had come up with

He had loved without regret, and with every passing day he'd be closer to reuniting with you again

Nikto

The only sound occupying the complete silence is the static in his mind, he's just numb, doesn't know what to do, what he should do with whatever emotions he's trying to detect, he must feel something

He was just delivered the worst news of his life, he should be breaking down and crying but he can barely even process the fact that you really are gone, he looses his train of thought every five seconds and can only stare forward as if in a trance he's unable to escape out of

He feels the long seconds drag by but he can't get up from his fixed spot on the chair, it's like a knife has been plunged into his side and pulled out, leaving the gaping wound pulsating softly, but he can barely hear his flesh scream out in pain, he can only feel the blood oozing out, staining his clothes and falling to the floor in droplets as he actively ignores it

He is hurt but can only clutch at it, he can't get up, feels far too comfortable sitting on this kitchen chair staring forward to the wall, elbows resting on his knees

[ylangelegy]

my lovely !!!! congrats on 1 million followers 💝🎉✨ although u deserve a billion 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i’m here to submit a📱 bc i’m dying to hear some more about ‘blindsided’ pls 🤲

char, my light! u make this godforsaken site worth it and i love u oh so dearly ୨ৎ i am forever a u/pochaccoups fan 🙂‍↕️

📱 office worker!wonwoo x reader, based on blindsided (fic + text imagines). part of my follower milestone celebration. mdni, 18+ content. word count: 700.

Wonwoo has fucked you in every imaginable corner of your office.

He knows he should probably be guilty. He’s a model employee, after all. Perfect performance evaluations and all that. 

But he just can’t bring himself to care, not when he’s got you bent over the copy machine after hours. He doesn’t think of ethics or rules when he’s eating you out in one of the bathroom stalls or when the two of you steal away to the supply closet for a quickie.  

He’s certainly not thinking of it now as the two of you christen his new office room. 

Graduating from a cubicle was no small feat. At least that’s what you sweetly told him before sinking to your knees and unbuckling his belt. Wonwoo has a fistful of your hair in one hand while the other clutches the corner of his desk, white-knuckled in its grip. 

He hasn’t had this room for more than two days and he’s already risking it all for some head. Maybe he should— 

The tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, and whatever he was thinking of doing is as good as gone. 

“Fuck,” he huffs, his fingers tightening around the strands of your hair. “You’re— ah— going to get me in trouble.” 

You hum in response, unrepentant in your debauchery. You merely continue to suck him off like your life depends on it. The only thing Wonwoo can do is keep an eye on the door and hope, pray, that nobody needs him for the next ten minutes or so. 

When Wonwoo’s gaze flicks to you underneath his desk, he’s done for.

Maybe it’s the tears edging at your lashes, the way you’re trying so hard to take in every inch of him in your mouth. Maybe it’s how you look underneath his grasp, how you’re pliant and perfect and on your goddamn knees. 

Maybe he’s always just been weak for you. There’s that, too. 

Either way, Wonwoo finishes with a strangled groan. His hand that had been clutching the desk goes to cover his mouth in a futile attempt to bite back the sound. You lap up every drop of his seed in the way that drives him absolutely crazy, the way that makes him want to shoot his cum down your throat for days on end. 

His chest heaves as you shuffle out from underneath the desk, a coy grin tugging at your lips. You throw a quick glance at the door before draping yourself across Wonwoo’s lap, your skirt riding up as you bracket yourself across his thighs. 

Wonwoo’s hands instinctively find purchase at your waist. He lets out a low hiss when he feels just how wet you are, the evidence of your arousal seeping through your underwear and on to his pant leg. 

“Can’t do this,” he breathes out, his denial weak in the way his fingers slide up your blouse. “We have to stop.” 

He’s given you this bullshit excuse enough times that you know he doesn’t really mean it. A part of him does this time, he likes to think, and you must know that, too, because you lean forward until your chests are pressed together.

“Don’t worry.” You give a playful nip at his earlobe. “I’ll be gone in two weeks.” 

“What?” he sputters, his eyes widening behind his glasses. 

He tries to gently pull you away from him, but you don’t budge. Your head instead falls into the crook of his neck as you giggle breathlessly. 

“Got poached. Same position as yours,” you inform him. “Our company’s non-compete clause is pretty shitty, so I think I’m going to get away with it.” 

On one hand, Wonwoo is grateful. Your move would solve a number of issues, from conflict of interest to his never-ending war with morality. And— maybe, just maybe— he could graduate from friends with benefits to something more. Something real. 

But it also meant— 

Your teeth scraping his pulse point drags him out of his thoughts. Wonwoo’s grip on you tightens. You and your stupid habit of leaving marks right before ruining him. 

“What do you say, Jeon?” you tease. “One more for the road, yeah?” 

[losers-clvb]

got the one thing that i want // dean winchester

pairing: dean winchester x female!reader

summary: you were in love with dean winchester. unfortunately for you, he was in love with someone else.

content: unrequited love, reader is kind of lovesick over dean (but she isn't stupid!!!), suggestive content towards end, dean is kind of a heartbroken asshole, soulless sam makes appearances, nickname "kid" used (but there is no significant age gap), angst, sam x reader if you squint

word count: 3.3k

note: as always, this is unedited. now, personally I am a sam girl first, however dean fit so much better into this idea. hopefully when i write for dean again it will be less angsty (even though i love angst). the storyline revolves around dean with lisa but the timeline and events may be off or not fit into the episodes including it. in that same vein, soulless sam may seem to have a little soul. the title is from lacy by olivia rodrigo as it was the song that was spinning around my head as i wrote this. also: lisa is not the evil woman who is insecure over the reader. i tried to make that obvious, but it may get lost in translation from not being outwardly mentioned. anyways, enjoy!

masterlist

----

Dean wasn't happy with his life. He hadn't been for a while. Driving around the country and hunting the things that go bump in the night was all fun and games until it cost him his brother. Even then, he could try to grapple with the grief he felt as long as he played house with Lisa and Ben. It was almost natural how he fit into their lives. Golfing, PTA meetings, the whole domesticity of it would have made him ill before, but now he was just happy to be safe. Of course, he never really felt safe. He was waiting for the ball to drop, for some god or witch to come out and tell him it was all a sick game to toy with his mind. There was no way Dean Winchester could ever be out of harm's way.

Then it came. The Djinn were there to tear down the dream life he had built for himself. He knew after that he could never be normal. There was just too much on the line for it. He had to be a hunter, it was in his blood. At least he had his brother back again. But, as time went on and he attempted a long distance type of relationship with Lisa, he knew something was wrong. His little brother who he had practically raised was different, cold and calculated instead of kind and intelligent. He figured he couldn't ask for too much, at least Sam was alive.

Then came you. You came from a family of hunters, dating back further than his mother's line. He hadn't seen you since you two were kids, you 10 and him 12, but you had grown up. He couldn't lie, you were hot as hell and under different circumstances he would have been all over you, but he was a taken man. He was loyal to Lisa and would do nothing to jeopardize the relationship. You, on the other hand, had been falling in love with the Winchester since you had reconnected. When you were young you had a small, school girl crush on him, but it had blossomed into more once you had gotten to know the man he had become. It wasn’t lust. You wanted to be around him all the time, wanted to make him smile, wanted to be the one who reassured him when he was feeling worthless.

You had halfway become that for him. You were one of the only people who made him lighter, someone he confided in about pretty much everything. Of course, that meant hearing about Lisa. You tried not to feel jealousy when he talked of her. It wasn’t her fault Dean thought she had molded the sun and stars while thinking of you as merely a friend. You knew it made you a terrible person when you mentally cursed the woman. Maybe you had never really been a good person. How could you when your life revolved around killing? But it certainly didn’t make you better to hope that Dean would leave her for you.

That was the situation you were in now. Sitting in the front seat of the Impala, sipping on a once cold beer while Dean talked of his recent trip to visit Lisa.

“-cooks the best turkey. Juicy on the inside, crispy on the outside.” Dean had been rambling about her cooking for over twenty minutes now. It wasn’t the first time he had talked about it and there was only so much you could say in response to her culinary skills. You nodded along as you mentally counted the stitches of the seat. There it was again. The pit in your stomach as you thought of all the nasty things you could say about Dean’s partner.

“Any romantic prospects for you?” Dean asked cheekily, which broke you out of the trance. He asked you this nearly every time when he was done gushing about Lisa. Your answer was always the same, a lie you told perfectly to his face.

“Not looking right now, maybe once we’re done with this case.” You looked up to him with a forced smile. He chuckled lowly and drank his beer, finishing it off.

“One day you’ll find him, kid.” There it was. The nickname he had chosen for you as kids that had somehow stuck in his brain once you were grown. You cringed at it, hating the way it made you feel.

“I’m two years younger than you, Winchester, don’t call me that.” Your tone was playful, trying not to hurt him. Even when you were sticking up for yourself you were still looking out for him. He shook his head as he looked out the front windshield of the Impala, laughter still in his eyes.

“Still a kid.”

----

Dean was gone now. Off to go help Lisa with some problem she had run into with Ben. It was pathetic, you thought, the way he dropped everything to run to her. Instant regret came with the words. No, it wasn’t pathetic. You were. If it was you he was running to you would have thought it was sweet. You were a pathetic, horrible person for thinking this way. You wallowed in this self pity as you worked on cleaning the gun in your hand.

“I see the way you look at him.” Sam mumbled as he worked on researching the case you two were currently on. He had been watching you, and he had noticed for a while now how your eyes lit up when Dean came around. He had also noticed how that light dulled when his brother spoke of Lisa.

“What?” You asked with irritation. There was no way you were talking with Sam about this. Bobby had tried once, but after getting a door slammed in his face he had thanked God for never giving him any girls to look after.

“You looking at Dean like he’s your lifeline.” Sam’s words made you clench your jaw. You weren’t angry with him, just angry with his words. They were true, of course, but you would have rather a demon take you as a meat suit before admitting it out loud.

“Just shut up.” You snarled at him before feeling just as guilty again. It wasn't his fault you were in love with a man who wouldn't love you back. You continued cleaning the gun as the guilt gnawed away at you. Sam sighed and turned his attention back to the laptop in front of him.

“All I'm saying is it's not worth it. Dean's happy now, but he's never going to love you back.” Sam's words were harsh, just another reminder that he was soulless. He had tried to be a little less direct with you after getting berated by Dean, but it seemed his patience had worn thin. Normally, you would have snapped back, telling him it wasn't true, none of what he said was true. But you knew it was. Dean would love Lisa until she stopped letting him, but he would never love you.

----

Dean had called you that night to check in. He knew you were hunting and even if he had no romantic interest in you, he still cared if you were living. You had been waiting patiently by your phone. He had promised to call every other night and you had promised to answer within the first three rings.

“How's it going kid?” That was how Dean chose to greet you. You squeezed your eyes shut in response. Why did he always have to make you feel so small?

“It's, uh, it's fine.” You stammered out as a Sam watched you. You ignored him and chose to fidget with a loose thread on the comforter of the bed. You heard Dean's chuckle through the phone.

“You don't sound too sure, but ill take your word for it.” His voice was gravelly from fighting off sleep. He had almost skipped the phone call in exchange for more sleep but had decided he didn't want to disappoint you. A silence fell over you two. You cleared your throat.

“How's Ben and Lisa?” You spoke, opting to ask something you knew would bring on a wave of talking. You just wanted to hear his voice.

“They're great. Ben, he, uh, has a crush on this girl in his school. I've been giving him tips on how to win her over.” This pulled a laugh from you.

“I don't know if I'd take your advice, Dean. You don't have the greatest track record of keeping relationships.” You teased him, drawing another chuckle from him. You heard rustling on the other end and a female voice laughing quietly enough you almost didnt hear it. Almost. There she was. Lisa.

“Hey, I've done a pretty bang up job keeping this one.” Dean replied, which triggered another laugh from the other line. You could assume Dean had motioned to Lisa. You smiled bitterly before Sam took the phone from your hand. You sat up quickly to argue the sudden thievery of the item, but his raised hand silenced you.

“Dean,” Sam greeted his brother. He watched you as he spoke. You shrunk under his stare, knowing he was frustrated about something you had done.

“Sammy! How are ya?” You could hear Dean through the phone, even with it being a couple of feet away.

“Fine, listen, we gotta let you go. Early morning.” Sam was short with the man on the other end of the line. You could hear Dean bidding a “good night” to Sam before they ended the call. Sam sat on the side of your bed before handing you back the phone. You watched him, waiting for him to say something, anything to explain why he had interrupted your time with Dean. Sam stretched his neck then laid his eyes on yours.

“I told you to back off of him.” He said. If you didn't know any better, you would have swore you heard caring come through in his words. You swallowed down the shame you felt.

“I was.” Your voice was more fragile than you intended it to be. You looked away from Sam, but could still feel his soulless gaze on you.

“No, you weren't,” were the last words said between the two of you for the night.

----

Two weeks later, you heard the slam of a door. You and the Winchesters were staying at Bobby's while waiting for another case to pop up. You had been lounging in the room you had been calling yours for the past few days, reading a book. Sam was God knows where while Bobby was running the phones for Rufus. It had been a quiet afternoon. Quiet up until Dean entered the house.

He had received a text from Lisa stating to call him immediately. Which he did. Immediately. That had been an hour ago. You hadn't known what the woman had to talk about with Dean, nor had he. By the sounds of not only the door but his angry footsteps as he entered your room, he was upset about something. He shut the door when he made it inside. Dean started a slow, furious pacing, but didn't say anything at first.

“Did something happen?” You had put your book down and had moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Your eyes trailed the path he made as he moved. He rubbed his face after stopping in front of you.

“Lisa said,” he paused and took a deep breath. “She said to leave her and Ben alone. That I crossed a line, pushing him.” Dean's voice was wavering between anger and heartbreak. 

“Oh,” you breathed out. You felt sorry for him, you did, but a small part of you, one that was buried deep within, was overjoyed. Maybe either Lisa out of the way Dean would see what he was missing with you. Of course, the second this thought popped into your head that sinking pit in your stomach appeared, the one that only seemed to show up when you thought about Dean and Lisa. You were watching him still, waiting to see what he was going to say or do next.

“It was either eat him or push him! What was I supposed to do, let the kid die?” Dean was frustrated. That was obvious with the way he was rambling on, ignoring any reaction you could have had to this information. You remembered this. A week ago, Sam and Dean had gone on a hunt which ended in Dean becoming a vampire, temporarily. Long story short, he ended up at Lisa’s house before taking the cure, and instead of opening up, he had almost killed them both in a fit of vampiric hunger. You were unsure of why exactly Dean had never told them the whole truth, but he hadn’t. Maybe he thought it would make it worse? You were sure it couldn’t have gotten worse than this.

Dean collapsed down next to you. He held his head in his hands. You sat next to him, blinking at the floorboards. How could you comfort him when you had been praying for this day since they had started dating? You weren’t great with words, words of comfort especially. Hug him? No, that might make things weird. You reached a hand over to place on his back, hesitating before ultimately making contact with his shirt. He was tense. Obviously he was tense. You stayed there, sitting next to him, hand on his back, waiting for him to make the next move.

Dean’s world was crashing down around him. It sounded dramatic, but it was true. Just when he had finally gotten to a place where he could at least be halfway happy with his life, it blew up in his face. Was he cursed? He didn’t know, but it felt like it. He didn’t know much of anything, actually. He had spent so long pushing his emotions away from the surface that he was clueless as to how to deal with it. Drinking wasn’t enough. He needed to get it out some other way. He looked up at you, eyes brimming red on the edge of tears.

Dean knew you loved him. He had known for a while, but knew you wouldn’t act on it. He wasn’t worried about how it would affect the friendship because he would simply ignore it. That was what he did with most things that didn’t benefit him. Ignore it until it got too big, let it blow up his life, then find a way to clean up the pieces. That was what was happening now. This thing he had ignored was suddenly so big, and he knew he could use it for himself. It was a wrestling match in his mind as he looked into your eyes. In the end, there was a winner and it seemed to be the little devil on his shoulder.

You were surprised as hell when Dean lunged towards you. That surprise only increased when you felt his lips on yours. It was strange, the kiss and the fact that you had almost immediately melted into him. You were underneath him as he cupped the side of your face. His kiss was feverish. It wasn’t passionate in the way two lovers kissed, it was more sexual than that. You knew this was wrong, not just morally, but the whole situation. Dean was just grieving the end of his relationship a split second ago. Now he had suddenly found the urge to kiss you? No, it wasn’t right.

“Dean,” you mumbled against him. In response, he kissed you harder. It would have been a lie if you were to say you didn’t enjoy it. Dean Winchester knew how to kiss a girl. You felt his hand go to your side before wrapping around to your back. He pulled you up closer to him as he kissed down your neck. Your own hands found his chest and you tilted your head to allow him better access to you.

“Dean, I have to tell you-,” he cut you off with a sharp nip at your collarbone. He was working his way down you, preparing to do only the things you had dreamed of. You felt that guilt creep in again. Was he doing this because he thought he had to?

“Dean, please!” You pushed him off you, scared you had somehow manipulated him into doing this. Dean scrambled back. He looked upset, not from what you had done, but from what he had done. You were both breathing hard, from the rush of what had happened or from the tension in the room, you didn’t know. You swallowed and tried to keep your eyes on him.

“You don’t have to do this. We can wait.” You managed to get the words out without your voice breaking. You offered a smile, which fell when Dean shook his head. He wore a pained look on his face, which panicked you.

“I love you, Dean.” The words fell out before you could stop them. It wasn’t like they were a lie. You just hadn’t expected to tell him, not now, not like this. Your eyes were wide as you waited for a response, hoping for a good one. It wasn’t as if it was completely unexpected. It couldn’t have been. You spent all your free time either with him or helping him in some way. You laughed with him, cried with him, confided in him. He was charming, which he knew. All of this you knew to be true. Yet all of this hadn’t mattered anymore when Dean turned away from you, sniffing before he spoke.

“I know.” Dean’s reply was only two words, but they held meaning. Meaning you understood. You could read through Dean. He knew the whole time. He also didn’t feel the same. He hadn’t ever loved you. He hadn’t even wanted to try to love you.

“You kissed me.” At this point tears were daring to spill from your eyes. He had known you loved him, known he didn’t love you, and he had still kissed you. He had been more worried about soothing himself that he hadn’t spared a thought for what would happen afterwards. You hated it. You hated him. You hated that you were about to cry like the kid Dean always called you.

“I’m sorry.” Those were Dean’s last words before he left your room. The door was still swinging when the rumble of the Impala’s engine roared to life, triggering a sob to rip from your throat. You hugged yourself and dipped your head between your knees. Everything had changed and you knew it wasn’t for the better. You hated yourself for even putting yourself into this situation. You knew the risks of falling in love with Dean Winchester.

The bed dipped down next to you, signaling the arrival of someone else in the room. You didn’t have the heart to look up. It wasn’t Dean. You knew that. He wouldn’t have come back so soon unless it was to tell you he had lied, he actually reciprocated your feelings for him. But he wouldn’t have done that, because he didn’t. It was Sam. That much you knew from the way he wrapped an awkward arm around you. He was trying his hardest to comfort you without saying “I told you so”. You knew he wanted to, knew it was taking everything in him to not be cold to you. The two of you sat wordless as you cried over a love you imagined you would never feel again.

[yuikomorii]

do we think that yui fell first and it was ayato that fell harder or do we think that it was ayato that fell first and yui that fell harder? 🤔 this has been on my mind for years and i've never came to a definite answer

// OKAY, LET’S GET THIS STARTED—

Yui definitely fell for Ayato first in HDB. From the start, she kept calling him cute and imagining them as friends. After Ayato gave her her first REAL kiss, she began picturing them as lovers, and he kept giving her more of that "cuteness aggression" that only deepened her feelings. Ayato, on the other hand, seemed to start falling for her after waking up from a nightmare, when Yui willingly offered him her blood and confessed that she actually enjoyed it. By the end of HDB, Ayato definitely loves Yui, but it’s clear she fell harder for him, especially given the things she does in the After Story.

Anyway, as for MB, we’re not sure who exactly fell for the other first. All we know, based on his route description, is that they both had feelings for each other even before the Mukamis arrived.

“With the appearance of the Mukami brothers targeting the heroine Yui, the bond between the two who have feelings for each other becomes even more intense. Ayato, who desires her heart, not just as prey, hides his painful feelings behind his rough words and actions.”

I think it was pretty clear that Yui fell for Ayato the fastest, since in the second chapter, after taking the truth, she confessed to him. Ayato also seemed happy when Yui asked for his kisses and bites there, so it’s pretty obvious he had feelings for her too. I also remember a scene from one of the earlier chapters where a classmate gave Yui two cinema tickets, and she wanted Ayato to go with her. Even though Ayato claimed to dislike movies, he was still willing to go with her. It’s clear he liked Yui; if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have done something he wasn’t interested in.

The problem with his MB route lies in how Yui constantly objectified him and pushed him to return her feelings, without ever considering his struggles. I also understand that Ayato’s past gave him trust issues, leading him to the belief that "I won’t make anyone special again because they won’t reciprocate my feelings." His intense bloodlust, likely worsened by the fig curse, pushed him to the edge too. But honestly, it was sooo tiring to watch. It felt like it was the same scenario over and over again, and I can't help but think that everything could have been resolved if they just COMMUNICATED earlier. Yet, I suppose the writer wasn’t feeling inspired when they wrote that route. 🤷🏼‍♀️

As for the After Story, sorry not sorry, but it’s undeniably the best-written one in the entire franchise. The way Ayato went to university for Yui, despite the deep trauma studying caused him, was incredibly moving. He didn’t pressure her to get a job; instead, he wanted to surprise her by building a good future for both of them, which I find really admirable. It’s also heartwarming how Yui continuously praised Ayato and helped him with his studies. In the Vampire Ending, she waited years for him to wake up from the coma, and all those years he kept searching for her in his dreams, therefore in the end, they both fell deeply in love with each other.

On top of that, there’s this official short story, where Ayato mentions not remembering when he started liking Takoyaki but then Yui rizzes him up with this confession:

Translated by Koiiro

In conclusion: They’re both down bad for each other, lol.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Hi! How are you? I hope that everything is fine! I was just thinking about some bayverse headcanons (+18)! What do u think about that? Because to be honest i need them 🤭 And btw i love your style of writing! Anyway i hope you are doing okey! Have a nice day! 🩷

Random Headcanons (18+)

Bayverse!Michelangelo x reader

A/N: Hehehe, I’ve been planning on making some 18+ headcanons for the Bayverse boys, but wanted to focus on the more untouched areas of my masterlist first. But since you asked so nicely, heheheh, I’ll give you one with Mikey🧡 And I’m good, thank you so much for asking, and I wish you too a nice day🧡

All characters are aged up.

Warnings: Lewd talk?, dirty talk?, mentioning of experimental sex.

Mr. Blunt and joyful right here. Mikey can be very blunt at times. If someone else found them in your position, they might have found his expression and comments quite a bit lewd and crude. How could he say such things to his girlfriend, and then within earshot of his own family? Well, you knew why, and therefore you didn’t find it as crude or lewd. Mikey never meant to be hurtful, he only tried to be funny, relying much on shock humor at times. He could come up and hug you from behind, swaying you side by side in a very loving manner, your head falling back and resting against his chest, smiling as he placed a kiss on your cheek, before resting his cheek against yours. And then; “How about you drop your pants and bend over, beautiful?” That had you roaring out in laughter. Though you would drop your pants and bend over a few moments later.

Mikey is not the type to let his sex life get stuck in a routine. In his opinion, a predictive sex life is as good as a dead one. He found new positions and dynamics very exciting, and it was often the excitement that he found very arousing. Couple that with a beautiful partner like you, who Mikey loved dearly, and you suddenly have wild and exciting love making. Sex between you and Mikey never felt boring. There was always something new to switch things up, and that excitement always did much, both for your and Mikey’s pleasure, but also several bonding experiences, bringing you closer and closer to each other.

It didn’t take much to get Mikey in the mood however. That just made it much easier for you when you were in the mood, having to do little to nothing to get your boyfriend in the same kind of mood. However, the most effective way to do this was to use Mikey’s own tactics against him. It didn’t come natural to you in the beginning, but as you and Mikey’s relationship progressed it became much easier. Soon it wasn’t strange for you to walk up behind Mikey while he was sitting in the couch, wrapping your arms around him, feeling him relax against you, like you would with him, before you would bring you lips down to where his ear would have been, whispering the words; “How about you drop your pants and give me something to ride on?”

If you were the only ones in the lair, Mikey would drop his pants on the spot. If anybody else was around, you would have to quickly remind him as he started fiddling with his fly, before going somewhere more private with Mikey hot on your heels.

[goodlucktai]

one of the rotten ones

rottmnt word count: 2k pairing: don & leo, don & OC title borrowed from anthems for a seventeen year old by yeule part of the archer au :) read on ao3

x

“I don’t think Gio likes me,” Donnie blurts. 

He’d feel self-conscious if he was pressed to admit it anywhere else, but he’s in the infirmary, and the only one around to hear him say so is his twin. 

They’re moving into hour two of Leo’s “faves” playlist and the fourth consecutive Taylor Swift song even though he swore he put it on shuffle. Leo is going through cabinets and shelves systematically, updating inventory on his phone, while Donnie infodumps about energy storage and projectile dynamics and the breaking strength of crossbow string. 

Donatello’s base knowledge of this particular ranged weapon is severely lacking, which is a significant personal problem for him now that he has a sibling with a preference for archery. He needs to be the world’s leading expert on the subject yesterday. He has half a dozen half-formed plans for things like sonar bolts for 3-D mapping, which may or may not have been inspired by the Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation run.   

Only every glance at the project folder simply labeled ‘G-01’ causes an uncomfortable feeling to squirm to life in his stomach, not unlike the Krang tentacles that had attached themselves to his carapace on the day the world didn’t end. 

Donnie isn’t good at people. He doesn’t know how they tick, and there are no reliable lines of code or handy user manuals that he can fall back on when he’s mystified by human behavior. 

His siblings don’t have the same problem. Leo is perceptive to a degree that borders upon clairvoyance, Mikey is the single-most emotionally intelligent member of their family, Raph is more charming than he gets credit for, and April can talk her way through any closed door, police tape or VIP-only entrance. None of them fumble the way Donnie does when a social interaction goes off-script, like it’s a volleyball that got served his way without the ample warning he needs to be anything approaching passable at the sport. 

But he knows he’s not imagining it—the way Gio seems to brace himself when Donnie comes into the room, like he’s expecting a confrontation every time. Like the last thing Donatello could want with him is something good. 

Donnie can be a lot. They all can. They come by it honestly, equal parts chaotic lab experiments and their father’s sons. And not every structure is built to withstand hurricane winds. Not every person is equipped to deal with a Hamato level weather event. 

But he has never seen Gio flinch away from anyone else. 

So he did what he always did when confronted by something outside his formidable repertoire—he took it to Leo. 

There had never in Donnie’s life been a problem that couldn’t be made into their problem. It came with twin territory. 

And Donnie’s twin in particular is good at translating Donatello and translating other people for Donatello, and jumps on any chance to be helpful and feel wanted, and absolutely loves problems. It’s one of the most annoying and endearing things about him. If there is any trouble within a hundred miles, Leo will find it. He will worm his way into the center of it and then puzzle his way out from the inside. Most other clever and curious people were satisfied by the daily Wordle; Leo would chew through a wall unless he had something more hands-on to occupy his mind with. As polar-opposite as the two of them could be in, in that regard, they were one and the same. 

It’s somewhat reassuring to Donnie that Leo’s immediate reaction is plain incredulity. He looks baffled, like Donnie has just started throwing stuff around the room for no reason. 

(He knows better. In the medbay, of all places, that would be a death wish. Leo runs a tight ship here and only here.)

“Sorry, you don’t think Gio likes you?” Leo says slowly. “Our Gio? The guy who let you infodump about the mycelial networks of fungi to him for almost two hours, all because Mikey mentioned he was making mushroom stir-fry for dinner?” 

Donnie scoffs, but he can’t help but feel warmed by the reminder. Gio had settled right in, the way he always did once he was sure of his welcome, and watched Donnie talk like nothing more interesting existed on this side of the equator.

“His eyes didn’t even glaze over,” Leo goes on, doing what he always does and pressing the advantage. “That’s a new personal best in this family. Even April started looking for a window to climb out of at the thirty minute mark.”

“There was bound to be at least one other mutant turtle in the New York metropolitan area with an appreciation for botany,” Donnie says imperiously, tilting his chin up. 

But the worry is still there, firmly rooted, trying to flower. Leo must be able to tell because his frown deepens, playfulness evaporating by the second. He pauses the music and sets his phone down. The room rings in the sudden silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, because it’s a room Donnie exists in with his twin. 

“I just want him to like me,” Donnie says. It’s a childish want, it makes him feel half his age, but it’s true. 

He was never one of those human kids lingering near the playground, on the edge of the classroom, desperate to fit in. He was never on the outs because he never had the chance to be. But this is probably what that would have felt like. 

Giorgio is quiet by default, absorbing everything with dark brown eyes, always pausing to think before speaking in a low, flat register that is becoming as familiar to Donnie as Raph’s comforting rumbles and Mikey’s energetic shrieks and Leo’s sweet or sly laughter. 

He hasn’t been anything but kind since he got here. He saved Leo, brought him home from a place it should have been impossible to come home from, so Donatello would put up with any manner of assholery from that quarter in exchange—but it’s not that at all. 

Once Gio’s initial guard goes up and then comes down, once they outlive that moment of consideration that verges upon scrutiny without ever crossing the line, the eldest turtle softens for any younger one like clockwork. He indulges whatever noise or nonsense they’ve brought with them like there is no better use of his time. 

It doesn’t seem like a lie. But Donnie is the least qualified person he knows to make that judgement call. 

There’s a lot at stake if he’s wrong, is all. 

Leo looks like Donnie has taken a melon baller to his insides just for fun. 

“I’d know if he didn’t like you,” Leo says with absolute certainty. And he probably would. And he would take it so personally. He wouldn’t let Gio know a single moment’s rest until the spotted turtle had a coming-to-Jesus moment and acknowledged his wrongdoings in canceled Youtuber apology video format. 

Since that isn’t the reality they live in—and Leo’s daily relentless pestering of Gio is harmless and little-sibling-shaped and decidedly not mean-spirited by any stretch of the imagination—some small part of the tight, unhappy feeling in Donnie’s heart has no choice but to accept that as the compelling argument it is. 

“He probably misses you, Tello,” Leo adds, something softening in his face that it hurts to look directly at. “His you, I mean. I know I would be a train wreck cosplaying as a person if I had to go someplace I’d never see you again. Can you imagine how screwed-up I’d be?”

Donnie’s whole soul shudders at the idea, at the nightmare that almost came true when the portal closed around the Technodrome and as good as severed Donnie clean down the middle. At the glimpse of a life he’d be forced to live with one leg, one lung, one arm, one eye, half a heart. 

“That’ll never happen,” he says, a little too loud. 

“You’re stuck with me,” Leo agrees. He means it, Donnie can tell—even after that almost-nightmare he put his family through, he means it. It’s one thing to take the nuclear option at the actual on-paper end of the world, it’s another to sit in a safe, warmly-lit room with his twin brother and try to conceive of an existence in which their dynamic duo was whittled down to a solo act. 

When they were little, Donnie once tried to explain how big the unobservable universe was. He told Leo that light from the big bang hadn’t reached Earth from all the way over there yet. It was a concept he struggled with as a child, that something could be so unknowable and immeasurable.

“That’s how big my ‘I love you’ is,” he said, all of seven years old and putting it into words the best way he knew how.

“I love you bigger than that,” Leo said promptly. 

“Ugh, you can’t,” Donnie said, frustrated at his twin for always trying to one-up him, for not understanding the huge thing Donnie was trying to compress and fit into his hands. “It’s not possible.”

“It is,” Leo said firmly, eyes gold to match Donnie’s, warm and shining in a way that was all his own. “I do.”

And then Leo went on to prove it. In a way Donnie never would have wanted him to—in an explosion that split the sky and left flash burns in their eyes, and the hollow pain of a surgical removal as the still-beating heart of their family was cut away, and the discordant electronic fuzz where a beloved voice had been rushing through last words, replaced by the sound of a radio without a signal, a device unpaired—but he proved it in a thousand other ways, too. 

He was even proving it now, this afternoon he spent leaning on a forearm crutch and ambling around to various shelves and cabinets to keep up with his stock of medical supplies that had been severely depleted in the weeks after the invasion. Leo had carried bandaids and lidocaine spray in a tiny tote bag since he was two feet tall. He couldn’t stop bad things from happening but he could try to make the bad things better. 

He’s looking at Donnie like he would right every wrong for him if he knew where to start. Like the unobservable universe was small enough to fit in his pocket compared to the lengths Leonardo would go for Donatello. 

Leo is the younger twin, but sometimes the only thing there is for Donnie to do is shuffle over and bonk their foreheads together and believe him. 

“If Gigi hated you, he wouldn’t be a Hamato,” Leo announces, muffled and silly and entirely correct. “It’s a required qualification. You must have missed that meeting with HR.” And then, because it’s important, he whispers, “I promise, okay?”

“Okay,” Donnie whispers back. 

At about that moment, TSwift’s I Think He Knows comes on, proving once and for all that there is actually no way Leo’s playlist is on shuffle. The weighted moment they’re holding on tight to transitions into a lighter one that gets flung haphazardly around as an immediate life-or-death struggle for the phone ensues. 

Stalemate is only reached when Splinter barges in to read them the riot act for daring to roughhouse while they had a non-zero number of broken bones between the two of them. Leo is bright-eyed with mischief and already fast-talking their way out of trouble the same effortless way April can rattle off her brothers’ favorite coffee orders, and Donnie’s worry has been soundly evicted, all its belongings in boxes in the yard. 

Sitting around has never been his style. He’s a turtle of discovery and invention. And now that he’s been reassured that the absolute worst-case scenario is not on the table—that it, in fact, was never on the table to begin with—curiosity rears its head and snaps up the dregs of anxiety like a hungry wolfhound who mistook it for an unattended rack of lamb. 

Hypothesis: Georgie isn’t being weird out of dislike of Donatello. Leo’s certain he’s not, so certain that he was willing to promise, point-blank and absolute, instead of being tricky and sly in the name of cheering Donnie up instead. Leo even offered a much more palatable alternative, but further evidentiary support is required. 

So after dinner a week later, as the whole family crowds comfortably around the banana split bar spilling across the entire kitchen island and argues over which toppings Gio and Casey should stack their bowls with first, Donnie blurts, “Can I see your crossbow?”

Giorgio really is one of the clowns in this circus. He proves it by putting his ice cream down, and picking the bow up from where it was relegated to the bench seat where everyone tosses their coats and shoes when they get home, and passing it right over. No normal person would put a loaded weapon in Donnie’s hands just because he asked nicely. 

As if in tacit agreement, both of Casey’s eyebrows shoot toward his hairline and Raph makes incredulous scoffing noises. April says, “You did not just—” at the same time Splinter blusters, “Purple, you fire that thing off in this house even once and I am grounding you from everything you know and love, including Orange!” and Donnie screeches, over Mikey and Leo’s hysterical laughter, “I can be trusted with projectile weaponry!”

The crossbow has been carefully maintained, but it hasn’t been used in weeks that Donnie is aware of. They’ve all stuck pretty close to home since the invasion, and it’s not like Gio knows anyone but them—it’s not like they need firepower for grocery hauls or pizza runs, though, knowing their luck, that could change any given day. 

But Gio still cleans it regularly, and he’s become a familiar sight at the kitchen table; parts spread out on an oil-stained rag, meticulous and methodical with the one belonging he brought here with him from the future other than the clothes on his back and the colorful friendship bracelet on his right wrist. 

It’s important to him, clearly, but he’s letting Donnie handle it with an indulgent look on his face. Like there are no better hands to leave it in than his little brother’s. 

Because he’s at risk of having a whole emotion about that out loud, where his entire family is assembled to witness it, Donnie quickly turns his mind onto the much safer road of gadgetry.  

He has never actually held a crossbow before, has never built or used one, but he’s been doing a lot of research. He has a lot of ideas. He wants to print mechanical broadhead arrows with explosive tips, or tear gas canisters, or EMP charges. It’s a brand new world of creative chaos and that’s not even touching all the build customizations Donnie has in mind. His fingers are already itching to dismantle and reassemble the machine into something better, something that won’t ever fail, something his big brother will love. 

Only—huh. What feels like a low-level electric current thrums to quiet life like it was waiting to be noticed by the right pair of eyes, just enough of a static shock to get his attention and guide his hand to the rail. Glowing purple does the work of an allen wrench in seconds and a handful of screws clatter to the table. Donnie removes the scope in one sure motion, and moves on to snap the rail from the stock. 

Raph says, low and warning, “Donnie,” intimately familiar with gremlin gadget mode and all the kitchen appliances and shared toys destroyed in Donnie’s early years in the name of science. But he’s not breaking this time, he’s just looking. 

He flips the rail over in his hands and finds the source of that odd electricity-conductive feeling. Hidden on the underside is a small embossed logo that Donnie would recognize anywhere, because it’s his.

“A-ha!” he says, absurdly pleased with the discovery. “A Genius Built mod.” 

The rail was one of the first things he’d had in mind to upgrade, but it looks like he’d beaten himself to the punch. 

“With a custom rail, we can add whatever attachments we want to the stock, way beyond just an average scope or a rangefinder,” Donnie says eagerly, his mind darting ahead in three different directions at once. “The world is our oyster, Georgie!” 

He can’t help grinning. His logo on Gio’s prized possession is that last little bit of evidence he needed. He’s never been happier to be wrong, and will endure Leo’s smugness for an unheard of two entire business days before initiating retaliation. 

No version of Donatello would put that mark on anything unless he really cared about it. 

And Gio wouldn’t lift the rail from Donnie’s hands, and touch his thumb to that stylized “D” as if to prove to himself that it was real, an expression of painful wistful longing on his face, unless he really cared, too. 

[elysianightsss]

WHERE THE LONELY ONES ROAM | PART ONE

You don’t remember much. Flashes here and there. A man with you, you’re happy. A fight. Running. Driving. Then the crash. Glass and metal flying everywhere. You’re upside down but still strapped into your seat. Warm blood dripping up your head. Footsteps. A light being shone in your eyes. The hospital. Beeping. Shouting in the distance. A big bang. Silence.

Then your eyes are fluttering open, vision blurry but slowly becoming clearer. Blue eyes and…you jolt, your hands feel burnt from the hot water they’re in. It makes you move quickly to rinse them under the cold tap and dry them.

You feel the metal around your finger through the towel and frown, pulling your hand up to look it’s a rectangular diamond with a silver band and a silver wedding ring after it. It was gorgeous but one problem, they weren’t yours. You never got engaged and you certainly weren’t married.

The tendrils of panic start to wrap around your limbs, tightening as you turn around running straight into a wall. You wince grabbing hold of your arm, but the pain is quickly forgotten when you spot the pictures. Photo frames you’d find in warm loving family homes, decorate the living room holding pictures of you and a man you don’t recognise.

“What the fuck.” You shudder, feeling like the ground is shaking beneath you. It’s like a dark cloud falls over your eyes as a ringing begins in your ears. Walls colliding in your head, you’re scrambling to understand, pulling open every file that’s been shut away in the far corners of your mind for this man, for this house, for this life.

For you.

It’s too much with too little information, you can’t do it. You don’t understand. Your brain trying too hard until everything goes black. Once again you hear the beeping of a machine, the fuses of a doctor M something. You hear a concerned voice you don’t recognise….

“Sweetheart?”

You startle because you don’t know who that is calling you a sweet little pet name, you flinch because you’re not in the hospital like you were two seconds ago. You feel a scream build and bubble in your throat because how the fuck did you get here in this gorgeous mid century modern kitchen with a ruggedly handsome man stood in front of you looking at you expectantly as if you had the answer to the question he was asking.

Staring into his hypnotising blue eyes you couldn’t help but think, did it really matter? Your conscience needed to shut it because of course it mattered. He was a stranger no matter how good looking.

“Honey is everything okay?” You blink at him too in shock to form words.

The man moved towards you and as much as you want to flinch away, to run, you’re rooted to your spot. He’s so close you’re breathing the same air, he lifts his large, silver wedding ring wrapped around his fourth finger, hand and presses it to your forehead bringing his other hand to press it to your cheek.

“You don’t look so good love.” He’s probably right, “you’re burning up.” You did feel like you could throw up, “let’s get you to bed, ignore what I said. I’ll do the dishes. C’mon now easy does it.” He breathes and picks you up, your eyes glance over his shoulder as he opens the fridge grabbing a cold bottle of water.

You manage to glance over an open recipe book on the kitchen counter. It’s not yours. It’s your handwriting on the pages but not yours. You don’t own a recipe book and never have, you like to wing it. Yet you can see when you’ve noted ‘needs more cinnamon’ on one of the pages. The curves and winds of the letters, it’s your handwriting.

You get carried up the stairs and into a bedroom, placed carefully on a big bed that felt like a cloud. “I’m gonna grab a cold flannel for your head, be right back sweetheart.” He leaves and despite the wooziness that begins to seep into you, you manage to look around.

The room looks well organised, a bathroom just opposite the bed where he went, soft bed sheets, photos everywhere, one that catches your attention the most is a photo by the side of the bed with a picture of a women and the man that’s in the bathroom both smiling and looking happy. The photo frame says ‘My John’ on it.

“John.” You mutter just as you read it.

“Yeah love?” The man that carried you upstairs comes back with a flannel in his hand. He looks at you expectantly just like he had downstairs, when you appeared.

“I-I’m tired?” You choke out sheepishly.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” He grins cheekily before coming over to you and pressing the flannel against your burning head, “You had another episode honey. Asking or telling, I think it’s best you sleep.”

“Episode?” You don’t understand. The twinges of panic started to explode into something more, you feel like you need air and you can’t get it. Your hands ball into fists, squeezing around nothing. Your shoulders are ridged the way your brain is, it feels like it’s not longer working that you’ve short circuited. It’s not right. Something is not right.

You’re pulled out of your frenzy by a bark, it’s makes you freeze eyes flitting to the perpetrator. A dog. But you don’t own a dog. “Easy Bear mums okay.” John soothes him, but the dog Bear, tilts his head as he sits in the doorway to the bedroom with a frown. A gurgled grumble comes out from him as he stares at you.

You turn slightly to look at John who’s already looking at you, his ocean eyes swirl with emotion. You recognise them, you remember them. They must be safe, he must be safe. Out of everything that doesn’t sit right that doesn’t seem right that’s out of place, he seems right. He’s what you remember. He must be safe.

“Okay sweetheart, you know I don’t like it but it’s probably best for you to take the medication Dr MacTavish prescribed you.” You watch almost as if it’s in slow motion as he grabs a small white cardboard box with blue and yellow strips on it. He opens it and pulled out the familiar plastic tray with foil covering the top. He pops one of the bumps and pulls out a light blue pill that looks tiny in the palm of his hand.

“I don’t condone this.” He mutters to himself but it’s loud enough that you hear it though you don’t say anything. “But maybe it is what’s best for right now like he said and who am I to argue with a Doctor.” He scoffs but smiles at you from where he’s sat next to you on the edge of the bed.

If he couldn’t argue with a Doctor, then you couldn’t either you suppose. You look into his eyes again. You remember them, you should trust what you remember. Nodding a little you take the pill and pop it in your mouth. It’s bitter and the chalky residue it leaves on your tongue makes your face scrunch up with disgust. John passes you a bottle of water and you move quickly opening the lid and chugging some of it.

“Good girl. I know that wasn’t nice but you did good honey. You need to lay down now, Doctor MacTavish said you’ll feel dizzy and most likely sleep straight away.” He explains, his voice soft despite the perpetual gravely undertone to it.

“Okay.” You snuggle down into bed, gripping the soft covers. A dizziness sweeps over you like alcohol suddenly hitting you all at once and then you’re out like a light. John’s smile disappears from his face the moment he knows you’re asleep. He chucks the pills haphazardly onto the bedside table before getting up.

“Watch her.” He commanded as he walked past Bear, the dog staying in place as John walks out of the room and down the stairs starting on the dishes you’d been arguing about minutes ago.

As he scrubs it feels like meditation to him, scrubbing and scrubbing the dishes clean. He wants to do this to your mind, wants to scrub all your memories clean and start over but he knows getting Johnny to perform a lobotomy on you like he suggested would only hurt him to see you in pain. Not worth it.

He can make this work, he planned it down to the last minute detail. And so far it’s working perfectly. No lobotomy needed. Hopefully it should never have to go that far.

John finishes the dishes, does the laundry, ignores the text from Simon, hoovers the living room and puts dinner in the slow cooker before going to check on you. Bear hasn’t moved from his spot, something John praises him for with a pat to the head. You’d turned in your drug induced sleep, the duvet pulled up under your chin while you lay on your side looking so peaceful.

He stares down at you. It feel wrong when it’s like this, when you’re not awake and distracting him. When he can hear the all the thoughts swirling, he can hear the voices, the screams, the gunshots… it’s all too much.

You quite the noise.

“I hope one day you understand…” he sniffs, eyes stinging, wiping a tear from his cheek, “and I pray you forgive me.”

[winksasleeplesseye]

SUMMARY: Leon drifts deeper into a dream of perfect moments, struggling to separate longing from reality as everything he feels is watched closely.

PAIRING: Leon Kennedy x F!Reader

WARNINGS: angst, intense emotions, dub con/noncon voyeurism

[MASTERLIST][PREVIOUS]

Leon drifted off, just like he had been every other night for the past few weeks. The hazy realm between sleep and awake beckoned to him so easily. He barely put up much of a fight rather letting it guide him than him actually protesting sleep.

No longer when he reached for the other side of the bed did he find a bitter cold. He found the warmth of your hand in his, fingers steady and pressure just the same. His heart raced, rhythm too fast, too sharp, like a drum out of sync with reality. Kind of like the one he just abandoned for this.

But nothing compared to this. Nothing.

Leon knew his heart was a place filled with regrets and unrelenting, unfulfilled desires. Not to mention, the now ever-present sharp, aching hole where you should've been. Every time he woke up he tried to convince himself to stop this, stop chasing ghosts…yet, here he was, every night. Every touch, every word shared with you felt like a desperate echo of what he couldn't have. What he couldn't reach in his waking life.

He'd tried to capture it. A way to cope with what he was experiencing in his head but more tangible, something he could touch. They were small, fleeting distractions. Women who vaguely resembled you in some way—-maybe their eyes, the curve of their lips, or the warmth of their skin. But it never compared. Didn't feel like enough. But for a brief,—very, very brief moment, it made this newfound ache that sat like a rock in his chest go away. It made the visions of you, the dreams, the memories—whatever they were…go away so he could breathe again.

It made him feel like himself before all this, the man who learned to hide it all, push his feelings aside and put on the mask of a man who was okay on the surface. But who was he kidding? This is exactly what it is. A game. A distraction.

They didn't matter. Because they weren't you.

Nameless, faceless women with empty words and empty touches.

He stared blankly to the ceiling as he sat at the kitchen table, a bottle of whiskey half-empty beside him. A lovely habit he picked up during training. It only granted him temporary respite. A harsh, flicking neon light casts a dull, sickly glow on the room. His eyes wandered down to the glass in front of him, maybe if he stared into the bottom of it hard enough, he'd find something there.

Some of the previous nights, where he didn't want to fall victim to the hold of sleep so quickly lingered in his mind. Nights he'd wish he could forget, the faint touches of skin, laughter in his ears. None of them you. They were someone else.

His mind had wandered, back to you—the vivid, soul-piercing moments that felt more real than anything in his real life. The way you'd touched him, your hands soft as they ran through his hair, the gentle way you kissed him. Everything about you had been seared into him like a brand, burning him with its intensity that left him wanting more.

But it's not real. He knew it. He knew she wasn't real.

Leon shook his head, a frustration building in him that threatened to drive him to the brink of insanity. The solace of temporary pleasure only made him more desperate, left him hollow.

"What the fuck am I doing?" He muttered to himself, pacing around the dimly lit kitchen.

He should find you…the real you. He knew it was stupid to even think the government would let him do that. It was hard enough to see Sherry, what made him think they'd let him see you? Fear and uncertainty plagued him at every point—haunting thoughts that'd he already lost you—-kept him from taking that step.

So, here he was. Chasing a ghost, a vision, an illusion….a memory.

Leon closed his eyes, lulled by the sound of the TV to sleep. This time, it wasn't to forget, but to remember. He replayed the dream—the way you looked at him, held him, kissed him as though nothing else mattered. He longed for that pathetically. He longed for you desperately.

"I’m here,” you whispered, your voice softer now, like the wind itself was stealing your words.

His grip tightened, desperation welling in his chest. “Don’t go.”

Your face blurred. His pulse slowed, the warmth of your hand grew cold. He blinked, but the image of you faded, dissolving into a swirl of colors. A buzzing sound filled the space where your laughter had been.

In a sterile room far from where he sat sleeping, a monitor beeped in rhythm with Leon’s brainwaves.

“NeuroSync is holding,” a voice said calmly, devoid of emotion. A shadowed figure leaned closer to the glowing screen, eyes scanning the peaks and troughs of neural signals dancing across the display.

Splashed across different screens, Leon's apartment sat in clear view of the scientists. But the main one that they focused their attention was Leon as he lay in his bed. Every twitch, every breath, everything laid bare for their viewing pleasure. And they weren't just hearing Leon's contentment, they were seeing it.

“Subject Kennedy’s engagement has deepened. Increased attachment to the fabricated stimuli.” Another figure adjusted the feed, altering the algorithm that controlled the dream sequence. “Introduce another stimulus. Let’s push his emotional capacity further.”

A panel lit up, showing the projection of Leon’s subconscious—a simulated reality crafted from fragments of his memories, designed to feel more real than life itself. Each sensation, each longing kiss, meticulously coded.

Medical records, photos, reports all laid out on a nearby table. You, their subject of interest, in every detail of your life all cleanly noted across this table. Alongside Leon's information, no detail left to chance.

How had they managed this? Managed to get the government's top asset wrapped up in this? Oh, they'd hold that close to their chest. They couldn't let anyone else take the credit.

Still, they had to admit….Mr. Kennedy was a fascinating subject.

Most of Umbrella's enemies were just that…enemies. Nameless opposition to their main objective. But soon they became names, faces, people. People like Leon Kennedy. Chris Redfield. Jill Valentine. Many more to count.

Who forced them into the shadows. In hindsight, this was only fair.

Dr. Erickson, Dr. Morales, and an assistant Thompson huddled close together, speaking in hushed tones as their eyes scanned the screens.

"What exactly is the purpose of this? Mr. Kennedy seems to almost be…enjoying the dream presented to him," Dr. Morales pointed out just as Leon, within his dream, pulled you closer to whisper in your ear. His heart rate spiked, brain activity lighting up like a Christmas tree from just a small, intimate act. Quiet moments interlaced with sweet, tender, and increasingly passionate in nature.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Thompson asked, clearly puzzled. "I mean, he’s still vulnerable to the program’s control, right? He’s still part of the experiment. He’s just... well, living in a distorted version of reality." Both the scientists seemed to disregard the assistant's words.

"It's only been a few days and he's—he's fully immersed already. And we haven't even introduced any other aspects to this…dream," Dr. Erickson, the head scientist, explained. His face scrunched in confusion as they stared at the man on their screen. A man completely unaware of anything beyond the realm of this dream. A happy man. For Leon, it was only….you. "Let's get some more info on this Y/N," he instructed.

Leon had become addicted—for lack of a better term. Well, no, that was the best term.

His eyes would glaze over at his desk, the words of his computer screen blurring together to create their own mishmash of words. Yet, he was nothing if not professional with his work.

The waking world had become more dull than he could ever recall it being. Colors muted and lifeless. His mind already seeking ways to disconnect from this world—the missions, the government orders, the endless cycle from disaster to disaster. Despite his best efforts to put on the usual front of nonchalance, he could never escape Hunnigan's watchful eye.

He stood at the coffee machine, hoping a cup of coffee would rouse him back into the paperwork he had left to finish. Still, his mind still gave him brief visions—moments—that kept from completely being tethered to this reality. He saw you in almost crystal clear clarity leaning against the counter, a teasing smile painted on your lips, "You still drink that burnt shit?"

He glanced down at the cup of black coffee, and just before he almost slipped to answer you like you were really there. Hunnigan tapped him on his shoulder.

"Everything good, Kennedy?" She asked, curiosity in her expression. "Looks like you're trying to find all the world's answers in that cup."

Shit. He's more obvious than he thought. Get it together, Kennedy.

Leon gave her a small smile, the corner of his mouth barely moving. "Just tired. The usual."

"The usual?" Hunnigan raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "The usual for you doesn't usually involve getting coffee at…" she looked at her watch,"…at three in the afternoon. What's bothering you?"

Jesus Christ, he can't hide anything from this woman. Did he want to tell her? Hunnigan had experienced quite the ordeal with him from Spain and he certainly trusted her more than any other handlers in this place. But, still, he didn't have to tell her. This was his cross to bear, so to speak. In many ways, he was a modern man but on this, his old-fashioned father came to mind, "It's impolite to burden people with your problems."

"It's nothing, really. Just had an off night is all," His voice dipped, lower and quieter, hoping that would stop her questioning for now.

Hunnigan nodded in understanding, "Alright, fair enough. I'll let you get back to your coffee then."

Leon watched as she left, a sinking feeling in his gut that this wasn't over. Now all he'd managed to do is pique Hunnigan's never-ending curiosity. Great.

For once, Leon was glad when the work day was over. And even better, the weekend was coming up. Two whole days where no one would give a rat's ass what he'd be doing, except now probably Hunnigan.

He pulled on his jacket, not looking back to his office for even a moment longer than he needed. Tonight, Leon decided to grab some takeout. The cold as he walked to his usual spot was piercing his skin like needles but he pushed through.

Upon entering the diner, he was greeted with mixing scents of stale coffee, grilled onions, and hot grease. A few people sat in the booths, keeping to themselves. A family with their young child, enjoying a plate of fries and shakes. A woman reading a book over some coffee. A couple huddled close together, sharing a meal, shared laughter, shared glances of affection.

Leon could see it all from the booth as he waited for his takeout. For some reason, he couldn't take his eyes away from the couple, the lingering gazes and gentle touches. All so…easy.

For a moment, he saw the both of you instead. Leon huddling close to whisper something in your ear to make you laugh, seeing it so vividly and hearing your laugh—warm, comforting—as you placed your hand in his. It had to be insanity because he could even feel the pressure of your hand in his.

The dinging of the bell took him out of it. His food was ready. He quickly thanked the waitress as he made his way to leave. The couple still completely wrapped up in one another with no idea that Leon had stared so intensely.

A sense of yearning gripped at his chest like a vice.

He entered the same dreary apartment, tossing down his keys and hanging up his jacket. He wasn't too quick to touch the takeout. Instead, he did what he'd been doing the last few nights, watching TV.

His phone lit up, vibrating on the coffee table where it laid.

Chris Redfield.

He ignored it.

Usually, Leon would be happy to go meet Chris for a beer and catch up on how life had been treating them, but right now? Leon didn't want any time away from the sleep he knew was coming, where he could be with you. He knew he should probably at least tell the idiot he's alive but even that was a chore right now.

So, he watched the screen light up one more time before it stopped.

Chris will just have to understand.

In his dream, Leon was once again with you, the two of you sharing a quiet moment in the soft glow of the evening light. Spilling through the curtains in their shared apartment.

An euphoria washed over him, an intoxicating haze that could've lasted forever.

He again watched you as you guided him to cook a new recipe, scents of garlic and fresh herbs hanging in the air as you moved gracefully through the space. He had never been much of a cook before, but with you, it was easy. Your presence made everything feel effortless—your hands guiding his as he chopped vegetables.

Your laughter filled the spaces between their movements.

The soft crackle of an old vinyl played in the background, a tune from the '70s that was vaguely familiar to him. It only added to the atmosphere making it nostalgic and intimate. The melody wrapped around him like a warm hug, a cocoon of warmth and comfort.

You turned to him, eyes filled with mischief. "You sure you can handle this?" You teased, voice playful yet tender.

Leon chuckled, warm and full of affection. "Well, a fire hasn't started yet, so that's always a good sign, right?" He asked, giving you a lopsided grin.

You smiled back, still holding a familiar glint of love and tenderness in your eyes, and for a moment, nothing outside this kitchen existed. Just them, together in this near perfect, domestic bliss.

As you reached over to stir the pot on the stove, Leon couldn't help noticing how your hair fell softly over your shoulder, the way the light coming from above the stove made your skin glow like nothing else. He moved closer, hands running down your arms in a gentle motion. You don't pull away, instead locking eyes with him and still offering that soft smile.

Leon, not wanting a moment like this to pass, took your hand in his, pulling you gently into him. The sensation was intoxicating—a rush, a high that was exhilarating and equal parts comforting. He couldn't help but to breathe you in, the beat of your heart syncing with his.

"Take a break?" He asked, voice barely a whisper.

You raised an eyebrow, still holding that playful twinkle in your eyes. "Now you're just trying to get out of cooking," you teased but you didn't stop him as he led you across the room.

As you both swayed gently, moving in rhythm to the music, the press of you against was enough to make him feel dizzy. The heat of your skin and softness of your breath as you laid your cheek against his chest.

All of his senses for the briefest moment told him this was real…you're real. No longer held back by the world of impossibilities.

He pulled back slightly, looking at you and just savoring you. He had so much he wanted to say but all it was incondite—inadequate and not all encompassing of how he felt. But as always, you'd say the same thing, from your perspective, Leon had never acted so strangely in your shared space.

Your eyes are soft, almost knowing. "You are being so strange, Leon." Your hand rested on his chest, he'd hoped you feel the beat of his heart underneath.

Instead of words, he leaned in, pressing his lips softly against yours. Kiss slow and tender as he tasted you, the sweetness, the warmth. Lost in you.

He pulled away, pressing a brief kiss to your forehead and responded with a chuckle, "I don't care. I don't care if I'm being strange, I just want this. You."

Your fingers traced his jaw, smiling. "Well, lucky for you, you've got the real thing right in front of you," you said with a wink.

The bliss, pure unadulterated bliss of it all was fleeting just as it had been every other day. The truth seeped in quicker than he expected this time. This is not real. She wasn't here. This place wasn't theirs.

Still, Leon held onto it for as long as he could, unwilling to let go of the dream—if only a few more moments despite the edges of reality caving into this one.

[lezforsapphicwrites]

𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷?

pairing: elphaba thropp x glinda upland word count: 808 warnings: none summary: glinda sees her wife again after so long being apart but elphaba feels she doesn't deserve her love. (inspired by "would you fall in love with me again" from epic the musical)

Elphaba had changed in a way that she wouldn't want, Glinda thought.

The one she had known at Shiz was not the same as the Elphaba that was standing before her. Her eyes bore the horrors of the cruelty and harshness of their world. Shoulders slumped as the weight of her own expectations pulled her down to a void of neverending disappointments and losses.

And yet, she was still Elphie. Her Elphie.

The girl who cared about animals more than anyone would ever do. Who braved the mocking eyes of their peers as she moved to her own beat in the Ozdust Ballroom. Who fought against the true wicked of Oz, something she hadn't muster to do.

"You look different. You're eyes look tired." She tried to make it sound like teasing but her emotions betrayed her. Glinda took a deep breath. "Your frame is lighter. Your smile torn."

Elphaba looked away. Somehow that hurt more than the long period they had spent away from each other.

"Is it really you, my love?" Glinda reached out her hand, gently resting them on the girl's shoulder.

She thanked the heavens that Elphaba didn't flinch away from her touch. She didn't think she would survive that. Glinda needed her warmth, to wrap her arms around her and never let go. But Elphie needed space and she would give anything to her.

"I am not the woman you fell in love with. Not the girl you once adored," Elphaba muttered. "I am not your kind and gentle wife, and I am not the love you knew before."

Glinda felt her arms weakening at the loss of wamrth when Elphaba moved across the room. The light from the large, circular window had made the woman's tears sparkle as they fell. Needles pricked her heart at the sight of them. Elphie was hurting herself because of her, she thought. Fearing that her wife was burning her cheeks with her own tears.

Before she could rush to wipe them away, Elphaba spoke, "Would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I've done?"

Yes, she wanted to say. But Elphaba continued, "The things I cannot change. Would you love me all the same? I know that you've been waiting for love."

Nothing was ever going to be more true than the love she had for her. Not even the Wizard could find a spell to change that. In this room, where Elphaba was closer than she had ever been, she wasted no more time and walked to where the woman stood.

Glinda gently lifted her face and smiled. "Don't cause yourself pain over me," She said, wiping the tears away before they could burn her even more. "And don't cry. It blurs my view of your eyes."

For every night she longed for her Elphie to be beside her, to tangle her arms around her frame and feel her warmth, and for every time a fire ingnited in her chest when an Ozian would make a hurtful remark about her wife, she thought as she pressed her lips against Elphaba's. Every second of it engraved in her mind to look back on for years to come.

They pulled away, gasping for air that they didn't need when they were in each others arms. Elphaba was holding on to her, keeping her as close as their bodies would allow, and that was enough.

Glinda tucked a piece of hair behind the woman's ear. "I will fall in love with you, over and over again. I don't care how, where, or when. No matter how long it's been, you're mine." She confessed, blinking away the tears that blurred her vision. She needed to see the face of her love clearly.

"Don't tell me you're not the same person. You're always my wife and I've been waiting for you." Glinda cried, clutching the hem of Elphaba's dress tightly. Don't leave me, she thought. As long as you're here, I'll be fine.

For some reason, it felt like they were saying goodbye. Not like the one they shared at the tower of the Wizard's castle. This one felt final, like she was never seeing her again.

Glinda shook her head. No, it wasn't. They were going to make things right and tell the people the truth. Perhaps then, everyone would know that Elphaba wasn't the wicked one and they could be in each other's arms for all eternity. No more fleeing and hiding.

But even if Elphie were to flee once more, she would join her. Damn the consequences. Yes, she would not repeat the same mistake she had done in the Emerald City.

As she pulled Elphaba closer, she forgot about the farm girl that was trapped beneath them nor did she notice the bucket of water hidden at the edge of the room.

a/n: first post! this is pretty short cuz i worked on it too quickly. working on another one atm!

more of my works here: masterlist

[anneangel]

Aziraphale is not bad or foolish nor stupid in the last 15 minutes of S2. And he is clearly suffering when Crowley didn't agree to go with him to Heaven, that is noticeable to anyone (or so I suppose).

But, in the same way that Crowley is sad about the whole situation (and about Aziraphale's choice), the audience felt the same way (ok, I know Crowley would never hate Aziraphale, while some fans condemned him and hated him a lot after that). But, getting to my point: I believe that, for most of us, Aziraphale is not "the bad", it's just that the entire 15 minutes were played to make us feel more empathy for Crowley.

He is the one we can identify with the most in the 'lover who declares his affection and is rejected'. Meanwhile, the 15 minutes still have Aziraphale saying that heaven 'is the side of the good guys' (something that would consequently be rejected by Crowley and the audience, who would agree with him in 'Heaven and Hell are toxic').

Its much harder to understand Aziraphale's side when the whole scene is played out in Crowley's favor. Aziraphale ends up coming off as the "poor naive" who leaves his love behind in exchange for trying to make Heaven a more decent place.

But listening: I also don't think Aziraphale thinks Heaven is perfect, he has shown that he doesn't always agree with God's plans or ways (he knows not to ask questions, he warns Angel Crowley, he gave his sword to Adam out of pity after the couple was expelled from Eden, he also didn't agree to kill Job's children). Aziraphale doesn't think Heaven is perfect, just that it's better than the alternative (Hell).

You see, both "Crowley book" and "Crowley show" fear the reprisals of Hell. It's not like Hell in GO isn't bad, because it is.

A while back I saw a poll that asked if you would like to be an angel or a demon, most people chose demon, but only because they use Crowley as a parameter, they want to be like Crowley, so they chose demon, but the question wasn't if you want to be Crowley, but a demon. Crowley is an exception, not the rule. Being a demon is not about being like Crowley, Crowley is the gray aspect between the black and white that Heaven and Hell are (he and Aziraphale are the gray aspect).

So Heaven is relatively more pleasant than Hell, that is beyond doubt. I think that when Aziraphale says "it's heaven, the side of the good guys", he didn't mean that it's the side of the "perfect and good", he was just replying that, compared to the alternative (Hell), Heaven was better.

This doesn't mean that Aziraphale support the publicity of heaven: He doesn't understand all the ordinances of Heaven, but he fears that disobedience and associating with demons (Crowley) will lead to his downfall, he feared that he had fallen after the whole "arc of Job". And he has reason to believe that he could fall if he is disobedient, or if he allies himself with "the wicked".

Angels did not fall only with Lucifer, mind you, biblically speaking 1/3 of the angels allied themselves with Lucifer's rebellion and fell with him (including Crowley). But after that there were other falls, before the flood for example, about 200 angels also fell: for having fallen in love with human women, having sex with them, creating Nephlins, and teaching forbidden knowledge to humans, all of this caused evil to be perpetrated on earth and it hence the flood.

So it is possible that an angel can fall at any time, if he does not fulfill the tasks of heaven and associates with the "wrong people".

Aziraphale does not think that heaven is perfect, but falling is still not a better option: Hell is not a better option.

Furthermore, he does not understand or obey all of Heaven's ordinances: he associated himself with Crowley, as well as committing sins (gluttony?), and others things. But he also knows that "running away" from Heaven (as Gabriel did) is not a good option in the long run.

So Aziraphale made the decision he thought was wisest in relation to Metatron, to find out what was happening in the management of Heaven, and trying to change what he believe is wrong.

See, Crowley's plan to run away isn't ideal, it's also naive foolishness.

Crowley would certainly agree with Aziraphale on "hell is toxic", they are in consensus on that. But, see, in the end of S2 Aziraphale and Crowley were both purposely put in a difficult situation, Metatron knew he would separate them by confronting them with a topic they would disagree on: Heaven.

Aziraphale, by saying "Heaven is the good guys' side," claimed to believe in the status quo. As if he believes that Heaven is broken, but can be fixed. But Crowley, by saying that "Heaven and Hell are toxic," doesn't believe they can be fixed, that it are both toxic precisely because it are functioning as it should.

I don't think either Crowley or Aziraphale is wrong, they just have different opinions based on what they believe. They shouldn't have to apologize for that. Aziraphale hurt Crowley, but Crowley also hurt Aziraphale. They're both hurt.

The reaction to Aziraphale was only so antagonistic because, as I said, the audience tends to identify more with Crowley and his idea that "Heaven and Hell are toxic", so they tend to give him more credibility during these last 15 minutes. But he was also wrong in the way he conducted the conversation.

Aziraphale saying that they can both go to Heaven as angels, is like having to accept that there is only Heaven and Hell and they need to join one of them, in the classic "if you can't beat them, join them". On the other hand, Crowley does not believe that it is possible to "join them", he believes that it is only possible to play against the system and outside of it, as an "us".

Only the plot of the sequel will show which one is being wiser (and I really hope the plot doesn't do it in a way that blames and ridicules one of them).

They both ended up saying things, and acting, in ways that hurt each other in S2. But that happens at least once in a couple's life, doesn't it?

So you see, the second season only separated them to bring them back together in the "sequel" in a more epic way (or so I hope❤️).

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2024 Anime Overview: Acro Trip

Premise: Chizuko is a huge fan of her local  magical girl, Berry Blossom. The magical girl’s arch-nemesis is a villain named Chrome, but he’s…incredibly pathetic. He’s hardly a challenge for Berry Blossom, and Chizuko is disappointed because this means her hero doesn’t really get a chance to show her stuff. She has a lot of ideas on how Chrome could be a more effective villain, and he overhears her talking about some of them. Now he’s trying  to recruit her for his evil organization, saying that if she helps him, it will mean cooler fights for Berry Blossom that will make her rise in popularity. What’s a fangirl to do?

Acro Trip is a lot of fun, and I recommend it to any magical girl enjoyer. I also recommend it to anyone who loves pathetic failguys, because my man Chrome is the most hilariously pathetic of them all. You like bad boys? Well this man is literally bad at everything.

He’s incredibly endearing—his idea of  “evil” is flipping restaurant maps or littering, he trembles pitifully when a middle school girl hits him with an umbrella, he fucks up in every way possible. At the same time, he’s a sweetheart who clearly takes his responsibility to be a good “mentor” to Chizuko very seriously and cares about her a lot. The show loves him and so do I.

 But wait! Girl failures have their rep too!

Chizuko is incredibly relatable to all of us magical girl fangirls, and her matter-of-fact way of dealing with things bounces off Chrome's himbo antic well. She has her fair share of failgirl moments herself, usually caused by her…well, it definitely seems like it's her crush on Berry Blossom.

We’ve been there, girl. I do feel Chrome gets a little more of a spotlight than her, but we also get to see her actually develop, going from refusing to get involved with Chrome to embracing her power.

Meanwhile, one of my favorite running gags is Chizuko's sweet lil’ grandfather who just rolls with every weird thing that happens and is way too excited to engage in criminal activity.

Berry Blossom herself is actually almost as big a dummy as Chrome is, with her mascot being the one who has to keep her on task. The classic dynamic! I do wish there was more to her, but I’ll discuss that later.

I felt a little concerned when it was confirmed Berry Blossom was a teenager and that Chrome was…probably in his mid-to-late twenties, because in the first episode there was a part where Chizuko seemed to think he was in love with Berry Blossom, and he was also very clear he was a masochist who is, uh, blissful when he gets punched in the face by Berry. However, the show immediately drops this. The idea of Chrome being in love with Berry Blossom never comes up again, and in fact it’s made clear he isn’t, as he repeatedly is more focused on being a good surrogate big brother to his “apprentice” over her. The masochism is mostly dropped too. On the other hand, Berry Blossom does seem to be developing a crush on Chrome, which makes me wary, but thankfully it’s extremely one sided right now. He’s completely oblivious to this, clearly doesn’t think of her that way, and it’s built on her constantly misunderstanding him requesting gifts to cheer up Chizuko (like her autograph).

It's not exactly a perfect show though,. As fun as it is, not all the gags hit, some side characters kind of dull, and my enthusiasm waned a bit as the series went on. The animation is…pretty rough. This anime clearly did not have a lot of resources allocated to it.

There’s also a bit of missed potential. It takes Chizuko way too long to get in the action, Chrome’s backstory would probably be more effective if his “rival” was a little more complex and sympathetic, there’s an interesting part in the finale where Berry Blossom mentions she doesn’t really have interests or hobbies and her mascot gave her purpose and then that’s just…brushed aside. Like how is it she doesn’t have any interests? She lives alone too, is she like, depressed? It feels like a major thing for her to say, and something Chrome should acknowledge but it’s like. "Well fight for your fans! They love you”. Perhaps it gets addressed in the manga or an (unlikely) season 2, but it sort of felt like the show wasn’t putting any thought into this heavy, kind of sad character detail they introduced. Whenever the show attempts to give its characters some depth and pathos it always seems a little half hearted.

The finale also set up a really dramatic conflict where various truths come out, and then just. Undid it all immediately. One of my least favorite tropes. There was obviously more manga left, but it really felt like the season just came to a stop rather than ended in a satisfying way.

However, the show succeeds at it’s main purpose- it’s a cozy good time for those who enjoy goofy, incompetent villains and goofy, incompetent magical girls. It’s a very sweet, silly, and occasionally funny show. Don’t go into expecting anything deep, but you can certainly have fun with it.

I implore you to give it a shot, because it’s fantastic that the lazy dark and edgy Madoka ripoffs are finally dying off, and we’re getting more variety again. We’re finally getting magical girl shows with fun premises, ones that aren’t reboots or Precure! So if you care about the genre at all, it’s so important to support them!

[venusswhite]

A Thousand Years | Arcane Vi x Fem Leitora (Part. 5)

After losing everything, [Name] tries to rebuild her life. But what happens when a ghost with pink hair returns?

notes: English is not my first language, and I initially wrote this fanfic in Portuguese. With the help of online resources, I rewrote it in English.

Part. 4

"they mistook my kindness for weakness" - Lana Del Rey

We stayed there for a while, holding each other, pretending everything was fine. I feel her warmth, the beats of her heart, her scent, the sensation of her clothes against my skin… all of it was comforting. It was like being a child again, as if nothing bad had ever happened.

“I need to go find Jinx,” I whisper against her chest, breaking the silence.

“I’ll go with you,” she says determinedly.

“No, Vi. It’s better if you don’t,” I pull away, looking into her blue eyes.

“Why not?” she asks, cupping my cheeks and tracing every spot and mark on my face with her fingers.

“She’s my sister,” she insists.

“I know, but she’s not the same. Just… let me talk to her first,” I place my hands over hers, leaning in until our foreheads touch.

She sighs and closes her eyes for a few seconds. Then, she opens them and nods.

“Alright. I just want the two of you back,” she steps back and kisses my forehead.

“I promise I’ll do my best to get a little bit of what we had.”

She smiles.

“I know you will. And so will I, I promise.”

I stop in front of Silco’s office, take a deep breath, and open the door, walking in with heavy steps. He’s sitting there, staring at the large round window behind him, drinking—probably something alcoholic.

“Guess what,” I say, pulling him from his thoughts. He turns to face me and huffs, probably already knowing what I’m about to say. “I never believed in ghosts, but today I saw one.”

“[Name]…” he begins.

“Shut up,” I shout. “You had no right to lie to me and drag Jinx into this mess.”

“I did it to protect you both,” he argues firmly.

“No. You did it because you knew I’d never help you if I knew Violet was alive. You manipulated me and used Jinx to help you.”

“And if you had known? What would you have done? Gone after her?” he stands and sets his glass on the table. “You were a defenseless child. Have you thought about what could’ve happened to you… to both of you if I hadn’t helped?”

“I would’ve figured it out…” I reply, defeated. He was right—what would I have done? I didn’t even know where Vi was, and even if I did, how could I have gotten her out of prison? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

“Would you? Are you sure?” he raises his eyebrows.

“That doesn’t give you the right to hide it from me,” I yell, slamming my hands on the desk to get closer to him.

“No. It doesn’t. But it was the best choice. And I didn’t know she was in Stillwater. Marcus didn’t tell me that.”

“That bastard,” I yell again. “This is all his fault,” I slam my hands on the desk again, then grab his glass and smash it on the floor. It shatters, shards flying everywhere. I collapse into the chair and bury my face in my hands.

“So… you went to see her, didn’t you?” he breaks the silence, sitting back down.

“Got your men watching me?” I lift my head, then take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Yes, I went.”

“And?”

“And what?” I snap.

“How was it?” he asks, folding his hands in his lap.

I fall silent, thinking about everything I felt when I saw her. The way my heart raced, the overwhelming joy that hit me, but also the doubt and uncertainty. Seeing her grown face after all these years, hearing her voice again, smelling her scent, feeling her touch—it all awakened something in me. It brought back long-dormant emotions.

“It was… intense. Like I was dreaming.”

“That’s why I hid it all from you,” I frown at him. “Love makes you weak.”

“You’re wrong,” I stand again, anger surging back through me. “Her return only made me stronger, more determined to get what I’ve always wanted.”

“Oh, really?” he says mockingly. “And what have you always wanted?”

“A better Zaun. An independent Zaun. The Zaun Vander wanted and fought for,” I stare into his eyes. “And I’ll fight for it.”

I leave the room, slamming the door behind me, not waiting to hear his response.

“Jinx?” I step into her ‘room.’ She’s working on her weapon with loud music playing, humming, and dancing.

“That’s me,” she says cheerfully, turning to look at me. She leans over to turn down the music coming from somewhere under the table, then focuses back on her weapon.

“Can we talk?”

“About what?” she asks, still humming her tune.

“Silco.”

She stops and looks at me again.

“How did your talk with Vi go?” her expression shifts from cheerful to disdainful.

“She’s back for us, Jinx. The Enforcer,” she flinches, “got Vi out of prison, as you already know. Vi trusts her.”

“Why would she help someone from the Lanes?”

“I don’t know yet, but it doesn’t matter. Now we can fight, we can continue what Vander wanted.”

“You want to betray Silco?” she concludes angrily.

“I know he’s done a lot for us, but at what cost? Look at what Zaun has become.”

She pauses to think and then goes back to working on her weapon.

“What do you plan to do?”

“Make a deal between Zaun and Piltover.”

“Just like that?” she mocks.

“No. That’s just the end goal. We still have a long way to go. We could use the Enforcer for the deal.”

“Use her as a hostage?” she laughs.

“No! I think she has some influence topside.”

“A Piltie helping Lanesfolk—you used to be smarter,” she picks up a piece from the floor.

“Vi says we can trust her, so I trust her.”

“I still don’t trust her, but I’ll give you a chance,” she walks over to me. “But I won’t betray Silco.”

“Jinx…”

“We owe him, [Name]. Vi needs to prove she won’t disappear again, and you need to prove you won’t abandon me to be with her. But don’t worry, I won’t tell Silco about your plan.”

“Thank you. I’ll fix everything, I promise,” I hug her. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

I open a small pouch on my belt and pull out the blue orb I picked up during the fight, handing it to her.

“Thanks,” she smiles and goes back to her weapon.

After the conversation with Jinx, I went to my room. My mind was racing. Uncertainty, fear, and doubts surrounded me, but I wanted my family back more than anything. I wanted at least a piece of what we had.

“You got Silco worried,” I jump and sit up, seeing Sevika standing in the corner.

“How long have you been there?”

“Not long… So, what’s your plan?” she asks, walking toward me.

“Plan?” I pretend not to understand.

“Silco said you talked about fighting for what Vander wanted,” she says and sits at the foot of my bed.

“Is he afraid I’ll betray him?”

“You could say that.”

“I only agreed to work with him because of Jinx. I never agreed with anything he did.”

“I know that, but don’t be stupid. He’s stronger than you.”

“I know. I won’t act without a plan.”

“You’re lucky I’ve grown fond of you, kid. I’ll talk to him, try to convince him you’re not going to betray him, but know this—if he finds out, things will get ugly.”

“He won’t find out.”

“You’d better hope he doesn’t.”

“Did you know Vi was alive?”

“No, but I suspected. She came after me, wanting to know where her sister was. The girl’s grown up…” she shows her damaged robotic arm.

“She’s tough, huh?” I smile.

“She is,” she sighs. “Take it slow with everything, alright? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Thanks, Sevi,” I hug her. “I like it when you act like a mom.”

“Go to sleep,” she stands up and pushes me back onto the bed. She leaves, closing the door. I smile, seeing a small smile on her lips.

With Jinx and Sevika’s help, Silco believed I wouldn’t betray him. I kept doing what I always did: monitoring Silco’s illegal operations, collecting money from the addicts, checking shipments coming in from Piltover…

I was also trying to meet with Vi as little as possible. Silco was on her tail, so she was hiding out with the Firelights.

The few times we did meet were to discuss our plan, which was to take down Silco and all shimmer production, gain the support of the people of Zaun, and then strike a deal with Piltover. We planned to catch Silco alone and unprotected, but killing him would cause problems with Jinx.

We didn’t know what to do.

We couldn’t take control of the Lanes with him around, but we also didn’t want to lose Jinx’s trust.

We were lost, unsure of what decision to make.

[kayaani]

LOVE IS MORE THAN THAT (ft. Kazuha)

cw: sfw/fluff, possibly OOC, insecurities, Fem! reader, modern settings, flat chested reader.

wc: 3.2k words

۶ৎ Your room wasn't quiet today, it never was. The room of your favourite band could be heard in every corner of your little — but the cheapest you could afford —apartment.

You have always liked music, and for real, who doesn't? Music can bring you such strong emotions and express your feelings in the most poetic and metaphoric way, the rhythm could make you cry, dance, ease your mind...

You weren't even hearing the song that played from your CD player. It was a little habit of yours that you started the past month, putting music to drown the bad thoughts that invaded your mind, seeking for your tears. This time it didn't help, as you were looking at your own reflection in your bedroom's mirror, staring at the top you bought last week without thinking twice.

Why didn't you try it in the fitting room? You were so stupid, and it didn't matter how many times you re adjusted the fabric of the cloth, it would still look the same. Oh, yeah, because you were with your boyfriend that time, reassuring you that it would fit you perfectly and beautifully. But looking at it now, you regret believing in him so easily.

You took it off, you couldn't stand the feeling it brought to your chest looking how unfitting it looked on you, thinking you were not the kind of person that should buy it.

You returned to the comfort of your baggier clothes, the ones that used to divert attention from your torso. "It's better this way" you muttered to yourself, but couldn't shake completely the self-doubt you felt.

You could still hear the voices of your classmates in middle school. Some guys making jokes, other girls talking about "you're so lucky, I wish I could have a flatter chest" and others just being your own voices of your head comparing.

The bell rang, it was him, you looked one last time at the mirror to check how your hair looked, and then hurried to the door, opening it to reveal your sweet lover, Kazuha.

He took in your appearance and smiled at you with his calm and peaceful demeanor.

It didn't take long for him to, when you guys were watching something on the comfiness of your living room, bring up the subject of the top.

"I noticed I haven't seen you yet with the t-shirt. It wasn't to your liking, perhaps?" He asked you, sipping on his hot coffee you prepared together. Your hands instinctively tightened its grip on the mug. You didn't want to talk about it, not now, now any time soon. It was something terrifying, not your clothes, but what was under there.

"It's nothing like that, really" you were quick to reassure, smiling, or rather forcing your smile to him.

Of course he wouldn't fall into your trap, he was smart, too smart sometimes. A concerned frown formed on his gaze, his eyes were quick to look for any signs of discomfort, of sadness, something. You seemed tense, and that wasn't something that happened around him, when he was so caring and loving towards you.

"Is something bothering you? It's okay, you can tell me. You know I want nothing but the best for you"

That made your stomach flip. You knew him, you knew how genuine his words and actions were, the fact that he loved you and would never think of you as disgusting... But your insecure thoughts were faster than those reassuring ones. It was inevitable that one day he would see or notice the flatness of your chest, but how would he react? Would he be disappointed? Would his steady, soft gaze falter? If only you were born with more.

Kazuha brought you out of your trance with a single word, your name being called. You were quick to glance his way, he was a bit closer and he cautiously and gently put a hand on your shoulder to let you know it was okay and he was there for you. "I can see something is wrong tonight, please, don't be afraid of showing yourself"

"It doesn't matter, really" you tried to change the subject to something else

"It does if it upsets you" he said back

Sometimes it was irritating how caring he could be, how his words were laced with pure concern. You looked into his eyes, the shade of red looking back into your own. You hesitated, but finally expressed yourself.

"I'm afraid you'll feel disgusted or turn your back on me" she faintly explained.

Kazuha looked at you, the weight of your words in the air, but he didn't change his expression to one of pity, if anything, it just softened and looked at you in understanding. "How come? Why would I even think like that towards you?"

You sighed, it was time, wasn't it? And his words, his gaze, it just made it easier. You took off your hoodie, underneath was your top with that neckline that haunted you.

He didn't seem to understand, it was like you were showing him something only you could see. Little did you know, it was true. That your insecurity, your fear of the rejection, your hatred towards the size of your chest, was something only you could see, only you could ever feel bad about.

"I feel like a little girl" you murmured to yourself, then looked into his eyes in search of a reaction. You could only find pure love and admiration. "Aren't you... Disappointed? I know most men like girls with more than this..." You started to talk, but were cut off by him, your name in his lips.

"Is that what you were so worried about?" He asked you, his voice soft. "Why would you think that way? How could I feel disappointed when I love every single thing about you?" He continued, his hand lowered, looking for her hands to hold.

"Please, believe me when I say I don't care about that at all. I love you. I adore every aspect of you and something like this could never change my mind about it." He talked again, pouring his heart in his words and the genuine affection he felt.

Author note: this was a request I received 6 days ago (I know , I just didn't see it omg I feel so bad). I hope this is for your liking and this was what you expected. I really didn't know how to start and if her thoughts and worries were well-written as I don't suffer from that insecurity.

To whoever is reading this and relates or has similar insecurities as the main character (reader) of this one shot, I hope everything's going well, because believe it or not, it doesn't matter. Those are things we only see. Everyone has their own insecurities and are more fixated on them than yours to even look for them. People won't see you just for your appearance, true people will see beyond that, and it won't matter to them whether you have skinny legs, fatter legs, flat chest, big chest, nose hooked or nose straight, etc. Those things don't matter, those things make you you, you.

Also, I'm truly sorry if this feels rushed, OOC or not what you expected, I'm a bit busy with things but wanted to write something, and the request made me happy. Btw, if you guys have any requests feel free to tell me.

[yesimwriting]

I absolutely loveddd your piece about iwtv! I feel like the characterisations of louis and armand were spot on, and as someone whose favourite character is armand, I'd love to see where the dynamic between him and reader is going👀

We all know armand loves a challenge *cough* daniel molloy *cough*. Do you think there's some sort of romance that could be simmering underneath his curiosity about reader?

i appreciate the characterization comment! i worked very hard on their voices!!

okay, i accidentally put so much thought into this in relation to armand's characterization/my interpretation of him, so this response is only thoughts on that. however, this did give me an actual idea for a fic in which armand is incredibly cutesy and manipulative to reader after she goes out without louis, so if you're interested in that pls let me know <33

disclaimer: a lot of this is based on how i see (show) armand, but the wonderful thing about media consumption is that people can see the same source material in different ways and i'm not claiming that my thoughts on armand (even in the context of bestie!reader verse) is the only viable way to see him :))

----

this is such an interesting concept and i've been thinking about it a lot.

it's also so cool that you brought up daniel bc i think one of the most important scenes for armand's characterization in the show is the fight in the 70's where armand is much more hurt by louis calling him "boring" than any mentions of his actual trauma.

to me, armand's such an interesting character bc he's an ancient, 514 yr old vampire whose so incredibly impressive, who doesn't need to make anyone look at him, who doesn't need validation, but he wants it, he'd never admit it, but that desire to be looked at and loved is so there.

i think louis, someone who armand really values, deeming reader as someone 'special' is enough to catch armand's attention (similarly to daniel) .

however, armand is being subjected to louis's love and interest in the reader much more consistently/openly than louis's relationship with daniel, which i feel like would only aggravate any subconscious insecurities on armand's end which would make him want reader's attention even more bc what could possibly make louis's 'special' human good enough to not want him??

this is such a side note, but i think it'd add such an interesting layer of tension if technically armand saw reader first. an 'origin story' i've been thinking about is armand and louis going to an art gallery, and armand seeing reader's painting, and then reader, and impulsively placing an anonymous bid for some crazy amount just for louis and reader to run into each other maybe an hour later and become besties.

okay, back to the main analysis--armand can't express his interest in reader too overtly bc louis would clock it immediately, so he'd be subtly manipulative by letting reader stumble dangerous situations just so he can be the hero, also i think he'd talk to reader about art to try to establish a connection/relationship outside of louis.

also once he's down this path he becomes almost overwhelmingly jealous (even though reader isn't with him in any capacity 🧍‍♀️). but bc he doesn't want to alert louis or shatter the carefully curated version of himself he's crafted for reader, he "punishes" her subtly.

his number one, go to way to hurt the reader for dating/upsetting him at all is to use louis against her. armand would plant the idea of reader falling in love with a human boy, settling down, and forgetting about louis to make louis insecure. this tension would eventually come up in front of reader, and reader would have to reassure louis and probably take a break from dating for a little.

armand would also be a little mean/snarky to reader after she goes out with others (romantically or platonically) in a way that makes him look like a concerned companion. you were out all night with some boy...and louis was left pouting in his coffin until sunset...how dare you leave them him? armand doesn't allow your friendship for you to hurt louis.

in this scenario, you might be wondering what armand's end goal is bc reader is much too loyal to be with louis's companion in any capacity, but i feel like this is something he's stumbled into accidentally and now it's a little too late. oh well, he deserves his matching set.

as this progresses, something armand swears is about simply proving that he can win reader over becomes less and less convenient. by that i mean that instead of getting reader wrapped around his finger, he's wrapped around reader's <33.

also, as a side note, i think if everything finally clicked for louis near the end of the interview, when their relationship is falling apart, he'd briefly be more worried for the reader's life than upset...and then maybe after dubai divorce armand threatens reader to hurt louis and louis is like 🧍‍♀️ she tells you she doesn't like your tone of voice and you change it you know damn well you're not touching a hair on her head unless it's to take her to the salon.

also another side note, i lowkey would love to find an excuse for daniel and reader to interact. it'd be a diva off for sure.

[live-laugh-lenney]

Could we maybe have a part two of this > https://www.tumblr.com/live-laugh-lenney/753590143297912832/id-honestly-love-a-little-something-where-like-yn

Fuzzy confessions and stuff perhaps?

| part one |

months had passed.

and arthur hated how he never acted on what had happened; he wanted to speak to the boys as soon as it happened, as soon as he had them away from yn so he could get their help on what he needed to do, but he chose to keep quiet. he chose to keep what happened a secret between himself and yn... which yn understood.

a change in the dynamic of their friendship group was something she didn't want to happen and she didn't want george nor chris nor arthur hill to view her differently because she'd drunkenly slept with arthur... with no regrets on either side... definitely not.

but he couldn't stand not being able to call her his.

hearing stories about how she'd gone on different dates with men that she had been set up with through becky or shannon because they were fed up with her moping around and being unhappy. deep down, she wanted arthur and not the strangers she was being set up with... but she wasn't going to force any feelings if he didn't truly feel sparks.

how wrong she was.

"this guy just straight up belched in my face and never apologised for it. he drank half the bottle of prosecco before i'd even finished my first glass, he mansplained everything he spoke about, never asked me about myself or my interests or anything and," she huffs as she fell to the sofa behind her, completely flopping down into the empty space beside george, kicking her feet up on his lap, "he was so rude to the waiting staff who were looking after us, too."

"looked like a prick when he came to pick you up so," george shrugs his shoulders, "where did you meet this one?"

"hinge, surprisingly. thought i'd give it a go after you said about it," a scoff left george's mouth and she rolls her eyes, his fingers undoing the heels buckled around her ankles and pulling them from her feet, "i thought he was going to be really nice. maybe i should just stay single? maybe, just maybe, i'm not cut out for a relationship."

"that's rubbish and you know it," george tuts at her and she pouts her lips, "maybe we should double date? i can scope your dates out and you can do the same for me. we can be each others' wingman."

a door opening catches yn offguard and she looks in the direction of where the sound of the creaking hinge came from, making eye contact with arthur as he steps foot out of the bathroom, a soft smile on his lips.

"you don't look like someone who's just had a good date," he says cautiously, walking into the living room and taking a seat in the seat he'd been sat in previously, "what happened this time?"

"terrible table manners, a major narcissist and rude to those around him," yn grumbles and sits up, folding her arms across her chest as she let her eyes wander to the television, "i wasted so much of my time picking out this outfit, buying new shoes, doing my make-up and making my hair look nice. someone really has it out for me at the moment, i swear."

arthur gives her a sympathetic smile before he diverts his attention to his phone.

all he could think about was how she'd never be treated so badly if he just said something, if he put his fears and worries aside, and finally acted on the feelings he was feeling deep inside.

because he found himself thinking back to that one night they shared together on holiday. when he woke up with her beside him, with their clothes in heaps around the room so there was no point in lying to one another about what had happened, with a feeling of happiness that it had happened. a memory that he found hard to shake off. and everytime he was reminded of that night, he found himself falling a little more in love with her.

"want a cup of tea?"

"that sounds so good right now," she looks at george and he stands to his feet, sliding his phone into his pocket and striding across the living room and in the direction of the kitchenette, "can i stay here tonight?"

"you're always welcome here," george says.

and with that, he disappeared around the corner to make her, and himself, a cup of tea because the idea sounding really warming and he could feel a chill in the air. the silence swallowed arthur and yn as they sat comfortably in each other's presence... but he felt his tongue burning from wanting to say something to her. he just didn't know what.

"i don't know why i bother anymore, you know?"

"hmm?"

arthur looks over at her and she frowns in his direction, her eyebrows pinching together on her browline and there's a sudden flush in her cheeks that was something other than the wind-bitten skin that she would have endured on her walk to george's flat.

"why couldn't you just ask me out, doofus?"

"again, hmm?"

arthur's confused and his heart was racing in his chest, beating quick and hard and he was surprised she couldn't hear how worked up he was feeling at her question.

"we slept together, we had such a good holiday, but we get back to england and you forget all that happened? we go back to being best friends and act like we never did anything?" she questions him and he shakes his head erratically, "then why didn't you do anything?"

"why should i? why couldn't you make the first move?"

she scowls at him when she sees the smirk toying at his lips, his phone being slipped into his picket so she had his full attention, his body shifting in his seat so he could look at her.

"i wanted to ask you out. really, i did," he starts, gulping back a thick lump in his throat before he continued, "i didn't want it to ruin what we had though. that night was amazing, from what i remember, and i didn't think we could go anywhere because i didn't know how i felt at the time. i didn't want it to change the group because we became a couple. i didn't know how to approach it, i guess."

"you've seen me go through hell on these dates and you didn't step in," she grumbles and he stands up, taking long steps in her direction and kneeling down in front of her, "be my knight in shining armour, idiot. save me so i don't have to do this anymore."

he takes her hands in his and squeezes them tight, running his thumbs across her knuckles with soft movements, eyes trained on her face as she looks at her lap.

"stay at mine tonight?" he asks her gently and lifts her head, "don't stay here. come back with me. and i'll take you home tomorrow and you can get all dressed up again, you can spend hours on your make-up and your hair, and i'll take you out in the evening and show you a proper date."

"i'm bored of dinners now. i've had too many bad ones to count," she informs him, "surprise me? but it has to be fun. not boring or generic. it has to be exciting."

"deal," he grins widely, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "consider yourself surprised." x